Scars of Yesterday
by sociopathic stoner
Summary: Sam is now a teenager and is suffering from depression. Contains cutting, child abuse, swearing and badass Sam. Read It! COMPLETE
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Call me lame, crazy or whatever, but Sam is my favorite RP character, so if you don't like it, then I suggest you stop reading this right now and go read some stupid Reggie/Twister story that Sam isn't even mentioned in.  
  
DISCLAMER: I do not own any of the Rocket Power characters.  
  
Scars of Yesterday  
  
16 year old Sam Dullard walked through the door of his empty suburban home. It was   
  
after ten o' clock and his mother had not yet returned from her date with her boyfriend of six months. Sam sighed and walked through the dark house to his messy room.  
  
During his teen years, Sam's beach blonde hair had darkened to a more sandy color, (or was now "dirty blonde" if you want to call it that) it was no longer short and neat but a bit longer and shaggy on the days he didn't use gel to spike it. His figure had changed as well, he stood at 5'8" and was no longer portly but slim and lean from his time on the school's cross country team. His choice of wardrobe were a mix of goth/punk/skater clothes that weren't too outrageous but different from his childhood clothes non the less. Spiked bracelets and wristbands were worn on his arms. His glasses were pretty much the same, but when combined with his new clothes they looked rather cool. But the biggest change in his appearence would be the silver ring that pierced through the center of his bottom lip.  
  
Of course he was still the smart kid that he always was; he took several advanced classes in school that even Reggie could not get into. His grades were perfect and if he kept them up he would be able to graduate early. And he was still friends with Reggie,Twister, and Otto... he just didn't see them as much as he used to.  
  
Sam walked down the stairs to his basement room where the walls were littered with band posters and dirty clothes and magazines were scattered everywhere. His mother had let him move his room into the basement so she could use his old room as an office since she was given a job promotion. Okay so she forced him into the basement but Sam wasn't complaining-the walls were soundproofed and it was much bigger than his old room.  
  
Sam kicked off his dirty running shoes and took off his grey hoodie that read-"Ocean Shores Cross Country", and stepped out of his black track pants. Underneath he wore a green silk-like tank top and green shorts of the same material that were rather short-his running uniform. Both garments as well as his legs were splattered in dry mud after cold and rainy cross country meet that took place an hour away from Ocean Shores. After a quick shower in which he didn't even wait for the water to warm up, Sam collapsed on his bed in a pair of black boxers and hastily finished his physics homework so he could get to sleep.  
  
To anybody who wathced him, Sam seemed fine despite his changed look he was not a delinquent or suffered from any problems. To anybody watched him closely, they could see his rollercoaster of emotions that he displayed- somedays he would be happy and spontaneous, some days he was a bit secluded and did not say much. Other days he was completely anti-social and became pissed off easily, these days did not come around often but today had been one of those days.   
  
He was late for most of his classes,got into a fight with a preppy boy who made fun of his clothes and was nearly given a detention if his coach had not talked the principal out of it. After that he got into an argument with Reggie after she told him he should have just ignored the boy in the first place (as far as he knew they were still not speaking). The only good part of his day was when he ran a personal best in his cross country meet.  
  
Sam threw his textbook on the floor and reflected back on the day's events. He reached under his bead and pulled out a pocket knife. He dragged it's dull blade across the skin of his writst a couple of times, soaked up the crismson liquid with a tissue and fell asleep.   
  
It was quite obvious that Sam was suffering from depression, but this did not start as soon as he hit puberty, not at all. To find the root of this problem we must take a flashback, back to a young boy living in Kansas with his parents, who's marriage was coming apart and Sam was part of the cause for it.   
  
A/N: This is my first try at fanfiction if you're wondering why the story sucks. All types of reviews are accepted, but to tell you the truth I couldn't care less what you people think of my story or the character it is centered around, because in my opinion this site needs more fanfics about Sam.  
  
Next chapter: Flashback to Kansas! 


	2. The Cause

Disclamer:I own none of the Rocket Power Characters  
  
Chapter 2:Flashback  
  
(Flashback to 6 years earlier)  
  
Doug Dullard walked through the door of his home four hours later than usual. His suit was wrinkled, dark circles formed underneath his eyes and his breath smelled of alchohol. In front of him stood his wife, Paula Dullard, whose hands were on her hips and a look of disgust on her face.  
  
"What's your excuse this time Doug?" she asked.  
  
"I got held up at the office honey. I tried to call you but the line was busy." he replied.  
  
"Oh really? Then can you explain why you smell like a bar? I doubt your boss allows you to drink on the job. And don't give me that bullshit about not being able to call, I've been sitting by the phone for hours waiting for you to call." Paula said a bit loudly.  
  
"Aw, shut the fuck up will you! Your such a control freak, I'm surprised you haven't set up a curfew for me yet!" He retorted while pushing past her towards the kitchen.  
  
Ten year old Sam Dullard woke up to his father's voice and ran into the kitchen to greet him.  
  
"Dad your home, you will never guess what happened at school today!" he said while pulling on his father's sleave.  
  
Doug whipped around fast, sending his son into the wall with a loud BANG!  
  
"Don't touch me you little brat!" He screamed while taking off his belt. He grabbed the boy who was sitting up against the wall in pain and turned him over so he was on all fours. He brought his belt down on Sam's back hard and kept doing it until blood was seen soaking through his flannel pajama shirt. Paula rushed to the crying boy while screaming at Doug, but he heard nothing.  
  
The drunken man walked into his bedroom and sat down on the king size bed. A look of dibelief spread over his face. 'Did I really just do that?' he thought to himself. Without knowing it fell into a dreamless sleep and woke up two hours later. By know he was sober and could fell the beginnings of hangover starting.  
  
"Sammy's having trouble falling asleep. He's afraid you'll come into his room and hurt him again." Doug's head jerked up to meet the face of his wife, her eyes were red and he could see a blood stain on the sleaves of her white nightgown. 'Must be Sam's' he thought to himself.  
  
"I'll make it up to him." Doug said and left the room without another word. Paula heard the car start up in the driveway and drive away until she heard only her son's sobbing from the other room.   
  
Paula walked into Sam's room to see him sitting on the top of his bunk bed with his face in his pillow, muffling his whimpers. "Its okay Sammy, Daddy left for a little while." Paula said in a soothing voice.  
  
"Did he leave forever, is ever gonna come back so I can say I'm sorry." the small boy asked fearfully.  
  
" He'll be back honey, and its not your fault. Your father just had a bad day at work. Goodnight Sammy."  
  
"'Night" he said and fell asleep. Paula sighed and went to bed.  
  
The next morning, Sam walked into the kitchen to see his Father with a guilty look on his face and a big box in his hands. "Sorry about hurting you last night buddy, I was just in a bad mood. Here I got you a present".  
  
Sam opened up the box that his Dad set down on the table and inside was a brand new laptop computer that Sam had dreamed of one day owning. "Wow!Thanks Dad!" he said excitedly. Doug chuckled and ruffled his son's hair.  
  
From the doorway, Paula watched as Doug started helping Sam set up his new laptop. 'He always does this!' she thought to herself annoyingly. True, this was not the first time Doug had taken his anger out on Sam and then shower him with presents for forgiveness. It had been happening since before Sam could talk in full sentences. It did not happen everyday or every month for that matter but happened way more than it should. It happened So many times that Paula had lost track of what toys Sam had gotten for holidays and what he got as guilt presents from his father.  
  
The injuries that Sam had received from his father were never life threatning, bruises, sprains, cuts. Paula was pretty sure she could blame Sam's asthma on the times where Doug had hit his back or choked him. By now, she must have rubbed bottles and bottles of ointment into Sam's skin to prevent scars. If one looked closely, they could faint white lines in Sam's skin, especially on his back. Luckly, Sam had fair skin. But these scars were nothing compared to his scars on the inside.  
  
'This is the last straw, never again will he hurt my son' Paula said to herself silently as Doug kissed Sam goodbye and went to work. As soon as he left, Paula packed hers and Sam's things into her car and drove herself and her confused son to her mother's house three hours away. She had left Doug a note that revealed her feelings about their marriage and called her lawyer later that afternoon asking for divorce papers.  
  
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The divorce was anything but pretty, Both parents fought over the custody of their son, but in the end Paula recieved full custody of Sam and Doug was only allowed to visit him if he had the permission of the judge and his ex-wife.  
  
Sam lived with his grandmother for nearly three months because the divorce process took so long with his father's refusal to sign the papers. Luckly school was out shorlty and his mother was hired at a law office in California. Sam was depressed about moving, but he had never seen the ocean or been someplace were it was always warm, so he didn't complain much.  
  
Sam blamed himself for his parents divorce but did not tell anyone and let the guilt slowly eat away at his soul until it was too much to ignore along with life's other problems and let his blade get rid of the pain. At age 13, Sam started walking down the dangerous path of self-destruction.  
  
Next Chapter: Back to the Present!!  
  
A/N to mike2000: Thanks for your review! I've read your Sam-centered fic before and enjoyed very much. I'll try to update the story reguarly and keep it from not sucking too much!  
  
Thanks Again!- chester315 


	3. Just a regular day

Disclamer: I own none of the Rocket Power Characters. But I do own the characters named Jess and Rob.  
  
Chapter 3: Just a Regular Day  
  
Sam woke up to a hand shaking his shoulder gently. He looked up to his mother's smiling face and then looked at his alarm clock to see that it wouldn't go off for another 30 minutes.  
  
"Mom why'd you wake me so early?" he asked sleepily.  
  
"Good morning to you too Sammy. I saw the results of last night's meet in the paper, you did very well! Not that that's any different from usual."(This was true, for Sam was one of the top runners on his cross country team,which was one of the top teams in the state)"I'm sorry I couldn't be there, but Tom made reservations weeks ago for the resturant we went to." Paula said.  
  
"Thats okay, the weather was miserable. And I know how hard it is for Tom to afford dinner at a fancy resturant." Sam replied. Tom had started dating his mother six months ago and he was very different from her ex-husband. Unlike Doug, the successful advertiser for a big company whom drove a luxury car; Tom was a mechanic who's only mode of transpertation besides the auto shop's tow truck was a used Honda that he bought from a friend.  
  
However, Tom was a kind, humorous, skinny man. Unlike his father who was overweight and was a bit "pushy" at times. Sam liked Tom, and Tom treated Sam like his own son. Whether it was going to his sporting events or teaching him how to drive and take care of a car.  
  
"Thanks for being so understanding Sammy. I'll be working late tonight and Tom said he'll treat you to dinner since there's no food in the house." Paula said. "Have a nice day at school, I'm going to work." And she exited his room.  
  
Sam was now fully awake and could not get back to sleep. He remembered his fight with Reggie and decided he should make peace with her before school started,he did not want a repeat of yesterday. Knowing very well that she would be at "The Shack" for breakfast like any other day, Sam got dressed. He hastily pulled on a pair of black Dickies pants and black t-shirt that read-"Hurley International" in red letters. He then ran into his bathroom.  
  
"Shit!" he said after picking up an empty bottle of hair gel. He made a mental note to pick up more after school and brushed his teeth. After making sure that his spiked bracelets covered up last night's damage that he had done; Sam grabbed his backpack and skateboard and ran upstairs.  
  
Once he was outside he jumped onto his skateboard and started riding down hill towards the pier at full speed. For with the teen years came carelessness, even for a boy whom once freaked out over the slightest scrape or bruise. Which explained why the only protection he wore for skateboarding this morning was a black beanie. Nowadays, Sam never only wore safety equipment when he was playing goalie in street hockey games with the Rockets and Twister or to compete in a street skatebaording competition. He wouldn't even go into Mad Town since he was not only required to wear pads but also pay a fee. Instead he just shredded up and down the streets of Ocean Shores- grinding rails and performing tricks over garbage cans, boxes, and sometimes even small children!  
  
Yes, Sam had become quite good at skateboarding and considered by many of his peers to be able to win a street skateboarding competition with ease. Otto of course, disagreed with these people, but would never enter a street competition if he knew Sam was in it. Sam had proven these people right by placing first in several street skating competitions, but would only enter the event if there was a cash prize. 'Why bother otherwise?' Sam always thought to himself.  
  
Continuing down the hill, Sam swerved around (and barely missed hitting) an old man whom was retreiving his morning paper. Sam could only laugh to himself as the elderly man yelled at him as sped away. "Damn teenagers!" the old man said to himself while turning away from Sam's retreating figure and walking back towards his house.  
  
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17 year old Reggie Rocket sat by herself at the counter of The Shore Shack, picking at her un-eaten toast and reflecting back on yesterdays fight with Sam. Reggie was not at all freaked out by Sam's drastic change in his wardrobe and overall appearence. (No one was really, many adults, including Sam's mother, just thought of the whole thing as a phase that he would eventually grow out of. Reggie thought it suited him well, given that he was a fan of punk rock music; as for the lip ring, well she thought it made him look rather... seductive whenever he grinned mischeiviously or glared.   
  
Yes, Reggie did have a small, unspoken of crush on Sam; as did a few other girls, but they were not kept as secrets like Reggie's. But unlike Reggie's they had started when Sam lost his baby fat. Reggie's crush on Sam started when she had gotten to know him a little better as a kid, and he was a kind of cute for a computer geek. But she hid these feelings well, unlike her crush on Trent; whom she had dated for a few months last year until she dumped him when he forbid her from having male friends.  
  
Sam was Reggie's best friend of the opposite sex, possibly even the best friend she had ever had. He helped her with the 'Zine, never treated her differently because of her gender, and always seemed to be able to read her mood. They never fought.   
  
Sherry always said they would make a great couple, despite that she too had a crush on Sam and once cornered him to ask him out, but she never got to ask him because he made up an excuse about being late for something and left. He avoided her for a week until she finally gave up.  
  
"Weird" Reggie said to herself as she thought back to that day when Sherry told her what happened when she tried to ask Sam out. This happened to every girl that tried to ask him out. Reggie once considered that he might be gay, but that idea was quickly destroyed the next day when she caught him looking at some girls sunbathing.  
  
"Hey Reg." A voice interupted Reggie's train of thought. She looked up to see a skinny young man dressed in black looking at her rather nervously.  
  
"Hello Sam." she replied sourly.   
  
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Sam was a bit taken back by Reggie's bad mood. He started talking anyway. "I-uh, thought we could talk about what happened yesterday. You know, with me snappping at you everything."  
  
"What's there to talk about?" she replied coldly.  
  
Sam sighed and said-"You have every right to be mad at me. I was an asshole for yelling at you...you were right, I should have just ignored that guy who made fun of me. I'm sorry Reg, I was just in a bad mood yesterday."   
  
Reggie was a bit stunned, she was expecting Sam to try and convince her that he had good reasons for fighting. But with his constant mood swings that Reggie had noticed that he was displaying lately (although they had been going on for several years), it was hard for anyone to predict what Sam's mood would be like for a day.  
  
"Um...apology accepted Sammy. I'm sorry for yelling too, I noticed you weren't yourself yesterday. I saw the race results in the paper though, good job!" Sam mumbled a thanks. Reggie continued "hey, why don't we go surfing afterschool today, after your cross country practice and my surf team workout, of course." Reggie, Otto, and Twister were all on the school surf team (hey, they are in California afterall).  
  
"You sure? Going surfing after two hours of swimming drills and being critcized about your surfing abilities by some old, washed-up, ex-pro surfer?" Sam asked in mock disbelief. "Sure why not? I could use some waves." He added. Reggie laughed.  
  
"Hey, my coach isn't that bad, at least he doesn't make me run up hills that are at a ninety degree angle!" She joked. "Besides its been like, forever since we had a surf session together ya know?"   
  
Sam gave her a smile that made her weak in the the knees. "You're right Reg, so I'll meet you at the beach around say, 5:30?" He asked.   
  
Reggie nodded and without another word she strapped her helmet on and both teens skated towards the school, chatting along the way about un-important topics to keep from having an awkward silence.  
  
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In front of the entrance of Ocean Shores High, stood two deeply tanned boys dubbed in baggy shorts and t-shirts with skateboard company logos on them. The shorter one stood tall at a height of 6 feet, with red dreadlocks that reached his shoulders. His body was grossly muscular; and he considered himself to be god's gift to women. If you haven't guessed it yet, his name was Otto Rocket.   
  
The other boy was three inches taller and had messy auburn hair that he hid under a backwards red baseball cap with an "Element Skateboards" logo sewn in on the front. He was fumbling with his trusty camcorder, needless to say this was Twister Rodrigez.  
  
"Dude, do you think Reg and Sam will actually talk to eachother today." Otto asked his best friend. Twister looked up and saw the two friends skating towards them in the distance.   
  
"It looks like they already have, O-man." he said while pointing to the two approaching figures.  
  
"Hey guys" Sam greeted the two boys when they finally reached them.  
  
"Looks like you two are talking again there, Shady." Otto replied. Six years after Sam had moved to Ocean Shores, it seemed stupid to refer to him as "the squid"; When Sam had changed his look a few years ago, Otto and Twist started calling him "Shady" for his dark apppearence. Thus he earned himself a new nickname.  
  
"Yeah, so me and Sam are going surfing after practice, tou guys wanna come?" Reggie asked.  
  
"Reg, are you crazy?!! Going surfing after two solid hours of it! I'll pass." Twister relpied hysterically.  
  
"I'm with Twist, but good luck not falling asleep Reg." Otto added.  
  
"Whatever, you lame-o." Reggie said, but inside she breathed a sigh of relief. 'I really need to talk to Sam' she thought to herself.   
  
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After parting with the Rocket crew, Sam walked into his first period art class and sat down at his usual seat in the corner of the room. Class didn't start for another five minutes, so he took out his sketchbook and started drawing. A few minutes later, a wad of paper hit him in the head. He annoyingly looked up to see a girl with black hair grinning at him.  
  
"What up loser?" she said in a joking manner. Her smooth dark hair reached the small of her back, her clothes were as dark as her hair. Like Sam, she also had a face piercing except hers was located on her left eyebrow.  
  
"Nice to see you too Jess." Sam replied. Jessica Stone moved to Ocean Shores a few years ago, and had quickly become friends with Sam because of their similar tastes in music.  
  
"Hey! A dragon!" Jess said excitidly, refering to Sam's drawing. "That is so cool! Is it another design for a skateboard deck?"   
  
"Yep, Raymundo said my last design sold so well, that he wanted another one!" Sam said. Sam had always been rather artistic, but only recently had he started coming up with designs for skateboard decks for Rocket Boards(Ray Rocket's small surf and skate company). He also did some illustrations for Reggie's 'Zine and was considering going into graphic design.  
  
"Guys! You will never guess what's happening this weekend!" a voice from behind said. The two "punks" turned around to see a tall boy dressed in baggy black bondage pants and a tight red t-shirt. His brown hair was spiked up and was dyed purple on the tips.  
  
"Oh my god Rob! Are you gonna do your laundry for a change?" Jess asked sarcastically. Rob gave her an annoyed look and said.  
  
"No you dumb bitch! And for your information I wash my clothes after I wear them twice, whether they need it or not. Oh, and 'Rebellious Lawn Gnomes' are playing at "The Mourge" on Saturday night and I have three tickets to see them!!"   
  
"No Way!" Sam and Jess said at the same time. 'Rebellious Lawn Gnomes' was the name of a local punk rock band that Sam, Jess, and Rob had seen several times and admired greatly. "The Mourge" was the name of a small, seedy club where various unknown rock bands played. It only allowed people over twenty one, but the security was so poor, that the three teens had went in several times and no one seemed to care.(Sam, of course never mentioned it to his "old" friends)  
  
"So, you guys in?" Rob asked.  
  
"Hell yeah!" Sam said loudly. Jess gave a loud screech of joy which caused other people to look at the trio more oddly than usual. They spent the rest of the period talking about the weekend, not bothering with doing any real work.   
  
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That afternoon, Sam and Rob went to cross country practice. Since they had a big meet the next day, their coach only made them for thirty minutes to save their legs for the race.   
  
Sam and Rob entered the boy's locker room and Sam started to hurridly pull off his t-shirt.  
  
"Yo dude, where's the fire?" Rob asked jokingly.  
  
"I'm going surfing with Reggie in half an hour, and I still have to run home to change and get my board." Sam said while stuffing his gym clothes into his locker.  
  
"Oh." He replied in a slighty hurt voice. "I was hoping you could come with me and Jess to listen to CD's in the record store until we get kicked out. But if you already have plans-"  
  
"You guys can come too if you want, I'm sure Reggie won't mind." Sam interupted, noticing the rejection in his voice.  
  
"Nah, that's okay. Have a good time." He replied quickly. Sam grabbed his backpack and turned towards Rob to say goodbye; Rob's face showed a mixture of hurt, loneliness, and betrayl. Sam stared confusingly at him but quickly shrugged it off. "See yah." he said  
  
Rob merely nodded quickly and tried to avoid his eyes. Sam exited the school skated on home as fast as he could, trying to figure out what was wrong with Rob.   
  
Next Chapter: Sam and Reg surf, talk, and more of Sam's past is revealed. 


	4. Questions

Disclamer:I own none of these characters, except for Rob and Jess.  
  
Chapter 4: Questions  
  
Sam quickly changed into a pair of black surf shorts, and pulled on a random t-shirt. Once he pulled the shirt over his head, he noticed his scarred wrist; it stood brightly out on the pale skin of his arm, Reggie would notice it for sure. 'Well I can't go in the water with my bracelets on' Sam thought to himself. He paced around his room trying to think of what to do to hide his dangerous secret.  
  
"I got it!" Sam ran to his bathroom where he kept a box of bandaids. He threw on several of the plastic bandages on on his wrist and wrapped some medical tape around his wrist for insurance.  
  
Once he was completely covered, he grabbed the surfboard that Tito had given him years ago and skated down to the beach. When he reached his destination, he noticed that the surf team was huddled around their coach as he lectured them.   
  
After what seemed like hours, he dismissed them and the team started packing up and talking amonst themselves.Reggie's back was facing Sam, a devious idea popped up in his mind and he slowly and quietly creeped up behind her.  
  
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"Hey Reg! Are you comin' or what?" a blonde girl asked Reggie, whom unlike everybody else was not packing up her stuff.  
  
"Go on without me Sher, I already planned to go surfing with Sam." Reggie told Sherri. A look of jealousy spread over Sherri's face but disapeared quickly. "Okay then, later much!" She replied as if nothing was wrong.  
  
'Where is he anyway?' She thought to herself. And turned around to see Sam, whose face was inches away from her own, with a psychotic look on his face. Reggie schreeched in surprise.  
  
"Sam What's wrong with you?!!" She screamed. Sam was almost falling over from laughter and looked up at the seething girl.  
  
"Oh come on Reg, my face isn't that ugly." He said jokingly. The look of anger evaported of Reggie's face as she started laughing along with Sam. All of sudden, Sam stopped laughing and looked Reggie in the eye, he stepped towards her so his face was a little too close to hers. Reggie froze.  
  
"Reggie" Sam said in a whisper. He moved his face to the side of hers, his lips nearly touching her smooth skin.  
  
"Sam?" Reggie questioned in a confused voice. Sam whispered her name again in a lustful tone, his lips grazing her ear. Butterflies started to form in Reggie's stomach. 'Is this really happening?' she asked herself.  
  
Reggie took a step to the right so Sam was know looking into her eyes. Sam reached up and tucked a strand of Reggie's wet hair behind her ear. And moved his lips towards hers, only mere centimeters know seperated them. Reggie began to close her eyes but then Sam's voice brought her back to reallity.  
  
"Race Ya!" Sam said an excited voice and ran off towards the water before Reggie could register what was happening. An annoyed glare spread over her face as she watched Sam's retreating figure run into the water. He yelled something at her and she picked up her board and walked towards him; a look of false mock anger replaced her truthful glare. 'Oh this boy really knows how to play with my emotions' she said to herself as she splashed Sam for his cruel joke.  
  
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After an hour of surfing (and water fights) Sam and Reggie tiredly walked back on land. Reggie collapsed on her back and looked up at the darkening sky. Sam plopped down on his stomach next to her and examined his wrist, the tape stayed on but salt water had still seeped into the cuts which caused Sam to let out a hiss of pain.  
  
"What's wrong?" Reggie asked in a concerned voice. She sat up to get a better look at Sam and noticed the medical tape on his wrist. "What happened?" she said gesturing to his wrist.  
  
"Well-uh, I tripped in practice today and landed on my arm. I was running on gravel, so I got cut up pretty bad." Sam lied. Reggie gave him a confused look and said-  
  
"Let's run up to the shack, we have a first aid kit there-" "No that's alright." Sam interrupted quickly. Reggie shot Sam a look of disbelief, she had trouble believing that he could cut his wrist from falling.   
  
"So...how was surf practice?" Sam said, trying to change the subject. Reggie and Sam chatted and laughed over the day's events. When they decided to leave, Sam turned his back to Reggie to pick up his board. Reggie noticed small faint white lines tracing up the bronzed skin of Sam's back.  
  
"Sam what are those?" she asked. Sam turned around and asked "What do you mean?"  
  
"Those lines on your back, are they scars? What happened? How long have they been there?" She rambled in a voice of concern and curiosness.  
  
"They're birthmarks, they only show when my skin gets tan." He lied, again.  
  
"I think you're lying, they don't look like any birthmarks I've ever seen. Sam, what's wrong? You've been so distant lately." Reggie asked, her voice strating to get angry.  
  
Sam crossed his arms over his chest, trying to look defensive. And insisted "Nothing's wrong with me Reg."  
  
"Bullshit Sammy," her voice became louder and angrier "What happeneed to you? Ever since you turned goth or whatever, you've been acting like a copmpletely different person-You don't eat as much, you're totally reckless, and you hardly ever hang with Twist,Otto and me because you're always off doing "who-knows-what" with those weird friends of yours!!" She sreamed. Sam was shaking with anger and Reggie noticed his eyes were getting teary. "Sammy what's wrong? I can help." She said in a softer tone.  
  
"Shut Up! You're frickin' delusional Reg, nothing's wrong with me I just grew up, okay. I'm not that fat safety-freak boy anymore. So get used to it!" Sam stormed off, leaving Reggie standing on the beach by herself, tears pouring down her cheeks.  
  
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Sam slammed his bedroom door behing him and sat down on his bed, burrying his hands in face in thought. Reggie was right he had changed. But it wasn't like he did it to gain attention or piss people off; oh no, he had what he thought was a very good reason to change his looks...  
  
(Flashback to three years ago)  
  
Sam had just turned thirteen yesterday and was trying out his new video game that he had gotten as a gift. Sam's mom had run out to do an errand, so Sam was all alone in the house. The doorbell rang, Sam put the game on pause slightly annoyed that he had been interrupted. 'Wonder who that could be ' he thought to himself. Sam opened the door and almost fell over from surprise when he saw who was standing there.  
  
In the doorway stood Doug Dullard, His blonde hair was neatly combed back and he was wearing what looked like a new suit, and a very expensive new suit at that. "Happy belated birthday little guy!" He said, flashing a perfect white smile.  
  
"Dad! What are you doing here? Does mom know you were coming!?" Sam asked. Sam had not seen his father for a couple years and the last time he did, his father was always on his cellphone doing business; so it wasn't that much of a visit. The only communication he had with his father now was a phonecall during holidays and the occasional e-mail.   
  
"Whoa, slow down there Sammy!" Doug said while chuckling at his son's energy. "Wow! look at how tall your getting, your clothes barely fit you anymore." He was right, Sam's pants were so short on him that his ankles showed. His clothes were also baggier than usual because he was a little bit thinner.  
  
"But does mom know your here?" Doug's smile faded a bit and he replied-"No, she doesn't but I wanted to give you your birthday present in person. Here." Doug handed Sam an envelope, inside was a check for a rather large amount of many. Sam gasped in shock at his gift.  
  
"Dad, this is way too much!" He said. "Don't worry about that Sammy, I got a big promotion. Why don't you use some of that money to buy new clothes, and put the rest in the bank." Doug suggested. "God Sammy, does anyone ever tell you how much you look like me, not to mention those grades! A chip off the old block, eh?" He added.  
  
"Thanks Dad, but I thought you needed mom's permission to visit-." Sam stopped talking, reallizing what his father had just said-'Chip off the old block? I'm not some abusive alchoholic!' Sam thought to himself, his face became angry, his father's did too.  
  
"Why would I need permission to visit you Sam? Do you think I'm some kind of maniac who would hurt his own son?" Doug growled. Sam continued to glare at his father as he remembered all the times this man had beat him. Sam nodded.  
  
"Why you ungrateful son of a bitch!!" He yelled. Doug punched his son in the stomach, hard. Sam doubled over in pain as Doug started to remove his belt. He pulled up Sam's shirt, exposing his pale back. He started whipping the boy's back.  
  
"Happy Birthday to you, happy birthady to you..." Doug sang in an angry voice. Sam howled in pain as the belt cut into his skin. When he finished the song, Doug stopped whipping his son, he examined his belt; it was covered in blood. "You bastard! This belt was brand new!" He kicked Sam in the side causing him to roll over on his back. He stared down at his whimpering son.  
  
"You can keep that check Sam, consider it the last gift you will ever get from me. Because as of this day forward, you're dead to me boy." Doug hissed. He turned around and walked out the door, slamming it behind him.  
  
Sam got up and cleaned up the mess his father had made in the living room. He washed of the blood on his back and threw away his blood soaked clothes. When his mother came home he acted as if nothing had happened while she was gone.  
  
Later that night, Sam remembered what his dad said about being "a chip off the old block", Sam looked into his mirror and saw that he shared similar features with his father-stocky frame, short neat hair, glasses, ect. Sam hated the way he looked, he hated his father, and he hated being so much like his father. Doug's voice popped up into Sam's head-'Why don't you use that money to buy new clothes...' "Oh I'll buy new clothes alright, people will never suspect me of of being your son." Sam said to himself smiling.  
  
The next day, after replacing his entire wardrobe, Sam stood in front of his mirror, admiring his black ensamble. But his father's words from yesterday still stung. An idea popped into Sam's head. He reached into his desk drawyer and pulled out a pocket knife. He digged the cool blade into the flesh of his left arm. It hurt like hell, but for some reason it made Sam feel...happy.  
  
Of course had heard that people who cut themselves eventually killed themselves, but Sam was convinced that he wouldn't make a habbit of cutting himself. How wrong he was. (Flashback over)  
  
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That fateful day where Sam decided to change was the last time he ever saw or talked to his father. The only communication that came from Doug was the monthly check he was required to send to his ex-wife. Sam didn't want to admit it, even after all the horrible things his father had done to him, he still cared for his father. He loved him and hated him at the same time; which confused him, but he never showed his true feelings to anyone.   
  
Because of his deprssing mood, he hardly ate anything which caused him to rapidly lose weight. He stopped having his hair cut reguarlly, like he had all his life. And joined the school's cross country team to be more physically fit; unlike his father whom had been fat his whole life. He then did something that he knew his father despised seeing on teenagers... he got his lip pierced. Of course his mother yelled at him for doing it without permission and demanded him to take it out, but he simply refused.   
  
Sam thought about what had happened the last few years. He picked up his trusty blade and walked into the bathroom. He made several shallow cuts in his left wrist than did the same to his other one. Blood poured down both arms and into the sink, staining the white porcelin. It was the first time he'd ever brought the knife to both wrists. Sam cleaned himself up and drifted off into a restless sleep.  
  
Next Chapter:Uh...I don't know yet, let me think of something good!  
  
A/N: If you think this story is worth continuing, then review. If you don't, than review anyways seeing as you have nothing better to do than reading my story! 


	5. What now?

Disclamer: I own none of the Rocket Power characters, but I do own Jess and Rob.  
  
Chapter 5: What now?  
  
Sam felt like crap, and that was putting it mildly. His wrists were sore, he was exhausted after a night of twisting and turning in bed, causing dark circles to form under his eyes. What was even worse was that the most important race of the season was afterschool. Luckily, if he slept in and returned to the school by noon he would still be allowed to run. He would just forge his mom's signature on a note saying he had an appointment.   
  
"No problem" Sam said to himself as he set his alarm clock fell into a much needed slumber.  
  
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Reggie was nervous, it was fifth period chemistry and Sam still hadn't come to shown up in school. The teacher was babbling on about todays lab experiment but she wasn't listening.   
  
The door opened and in walked Sammy, he still looked tired. He handed a note to the teacher and sat down in a desk far away from Reggie, he refused to even look her way as she stared at him.  
  
"Alright, I will be seperating you into groups of two for this experiment." announced the teacher. The class let out a load groan. "Stop complaining, would you rather we just took notes?"he asked 0threatenly. The students immedietly shut up.  
  
As fate would have it, Reggie and Sam were paired up. Sam didn't even acknowledge Reggie's presence as he began measuring out various liquids in beakers.   
  
"Sam... can we talk?" Reggie asked nervously. Sam said nothing. "Sam please say something." She continued.  
  
"Why don't you make yourself useful and fire up the burner?" Sam said in a toneless voice. Reggie narrowed her eyes and said "Fine. We'll talk later."  
  
The two "friends" silently finished the assingment just before the bell rang that excused them for lunch. Sam was the first person to leave the room, Reggie followed him but quickly lost sight of him as the hallway became overcrowded with students.   
  
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"Hey Reg what's up with you? You seem kind of down today." Sherri said. Reggie was sitting with Trish and Sherri at a picnic table in front of the school. Reggie lokked up at the blonde girl across from her. Her eyes were red and puffy.  
  
"Oh my god! Reg, what happened?" Trish questioned with concern.  
  
"Nothing happened" Reg said in a quiet voice.  
  
"Come on girl, something obviously happened. You've been crying." Sherri said. "Tell us what's wrong, we won't tell anybody." She pried.  
  
"It's just Sam, we've been fighting lately, it's nothing." Reg confessed. The other girls let out a gasp of surprise.  
  
"But you and Sam never fight, I mean you guys are like the perfect example of what best friends should be like." Trish said.  
  
"It's nothing serious" Reg lied "Sams' just been stressing about today's meet, So we've been having problems with the 'Zine and we've just grown impatient with eachother. I'm sure he'll be back to normal after the race."she added. Trish and Sherri exchanged smirks.  
  
"Is that so? Are you sure it isn't just a build-up of sexual tension?" Sherri asked with smirk on her face. Reggie's face turned red and the two girls burst out laughing.  
  
"Will you two cut it out?! Sam and I aren't like that." Reggie insisted, trying to hide her secret.  
  
"Oh Reg, you know we're just joking! Tell you what, after the meet why don't you invite Sam to be your date the beach party this weekend. A litle fun and you two will be back to normal." Trish said.  
  
"You're right Trish, we hardly do anything fun together anymore." Reggie said.  
  
"I still think you two would make a good couple." Sherri added. Reggie threw a crumbled napkin at her, causing the girls to shriek with laughter.  
  
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Sam made his way to the back of the school where most of the "outcasts" of Ocean Shores High could be found during free periods. He spotted Rob and Jess chatting on top of a beat up car and joined them.  
  
"Well look who decided to come to school today!" Jess said in a joking manner.  
  
"Dude, coach was freaking out that you weren't gonna be able to run today! Where were you?" Rob questioned.  
  
"Well I couldn't sleep last night, so I decided to sleep in this morning." Sam stated. Jess took out her pack of cigarettes and Sam asked for one.  
  
"Shouldn't you wait till after the race to smoke?" She asked as Sam lit the stick and took a deep drag.  
  
"Nuthin' bad has happened to me yet." Sam replied. Jess simply shrugged and lit up her own cigarette.  
  
"So, you guys still in for tommorow night?" Rob asked with a grin on his face. Sam and Jess howled in agreement and began making plans for the next night.  
  
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The entire race consisted of about 100 boys from the best high school cross country teams within a hundred mile radius from Ocean Shores. The winning team would qualify for the State Championship Meet next week. Ocean Shores had the privlage of hosting this year's state qualifier meet.   
  
Sam had about one thousand meters left in the three mile race. twenty boys were in front of him. His legs hurt, he was tired and felt like collaspsing, but he sped up, knowing the race would be over soon. He passed two boys.  
  
"Come on Dullard!! You have 800 meters left, don't quit now!" his coach raged from the side of the course. The last part of the course included a steep uphill right before the finish line...Sam hated that hill. He passed another group of boys.  
  
He was now only a short distance away from the hill and heard cheers as the first boy crossed the finish line. He started running as fast as he could. On the top of the hill he saw the Rocket crew shouting encouragement at him. He pumped his arms, lifted his knees and passed several straggling boys on the way up the hill.  
  
The finish line was now in view, Sam was now neck-and-neck with another runner. About two feet before the finish line, Sam passed him. He slowed down to a walk, breathing heavily. A woman handed him a ribbon that read "10th place" and congratulated him.  
  
Before he had time to catch his breath, Sam was surrounded by people congratulating him. Once the crowd around him died down, Reggie walked up to him.  
  
"Sam... about last night, I'm sorry I upset you." She said while avoiding his eyes.  
  
"Forget about it Reg, this week has just been really crazy." Sam said with an understanding smile that eased Reggie's nervousnous.  
  
"So, this weekend-the beach party, would you like to go with me? As friends of course." she mentally kicked herself fo adding the "as friends" part.  
  
"Sure." Sam said, forgetting about that the party was the same night as the concert. Reggie smiled and they agreed to meet at "The Shack" later on for a victory shake.  
  
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The next day, Sam spent lounging around the house until it was time to get ready for the concert. When the time came, he spiked his dark blonde hair in every direction. For clothes- he wore what he referred to as "concert gear"; a fishnet shirt with a tight t-shirt worn over and black pants that fit a bit tighter tham usual. On his wrists, he wore the usual bracelets.  
  
He met up with his friends in front of "The Mourge". Jess was wearing black leather pants and a blck tank top. Rob wore tight plaid pants and a sleavless black t-shirt, his hair was spiked. Both teens wore heavy black make-up.  
  
The three friends smiled at eachother and silently walked past the dozing security gaurd into the loud club.  
  
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Reggie was getting anxious, the party started an hour ago and there was still no sign of Sam. She had spent extra time getting dressed up for the party to catch Sam's eye; but know it felt like those hours had been a waste.  
  
"Still not here?" a voice behind her asked. Reggie turned around to see Twister and Otto.  
  
"No, he must be running late. I just hope nothing bad happened to him." She said  
  
"Don't worry Reg, he'll show up." Twister said in a comforting voice. Reggie nodded and walked away.  
  
"If he knows what's good for him." Otto added to Twister's last statement. Reggie didn't hear.  
  
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The music was loud with screaming and guitar solos. The crowd jumped up and down to the beat of the music, occasionally bumping into one another with no apologies. Sam climbed onto a speaker and threw himself onto the crowd which caught his light frame easily.  
  
Hands were running up and down Sam's body, pushing him upward, stabilizing him, he even felt a pair of hands trying to pull his pants down as well as another pair slipping up the back of his shirt. He felt helpless and but enjoyed it at the same time. Soon he was lowered to the ground and continued moshing with the rest of the audience.  
  
An hour later and the band stopped playing, the lead singer took the microphone and said-"Thanks for coming out to see us tonight, You've been a fucking awesome crowd!!" Sam, along with everybody else, hollered in admiration as the band walked off stage.  
  
"Damn, its only 11:30! What do you guys want to do for the rest of night?" asked Rob  
  
"I have an idea, follow me!" Jess said as she ran out of the club. The boys exchanged confused looks and quickly followed suit.  
  
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It was dark. The only source of light on the beach was a bonfire that all the party guests stood around-laughing, talking, roasting food. One figure stood away from the bonfire, looking in the direction of the beach entrance.   
  
"Reggie." the lone figure whipped around to see her friends looking at her with concern. "I don't think he's gonna show up." Sherri said in a sympathetic voice. Reggie looked down at her feet to hide her tears away from her friends.  
  
"I guess your right." She said and started walking towards the bonfire to join her peers.  
  
"Next time I see Sam, I'm gonna kick his ass." Trish said in an attempt to cheer up Reggie. Reg could only force a weak smile. Suddenly she heard a loud shriek; she looked behind her was able to make out three dark figures frolicing about 100 feet away. They were screaming and laughing like there was no tommorrow. Reggie recognized one of the voices; and a look of absolute rage spread over her face. 'Sam' she thought to herself.  
  
She stormed over to Sam and his friends, Trish and Sherri hurried after her. The rest of the party seemed to notice and stopped any conversations to watch what was going to happen. The three punks didn't even notice the other people until Sam felt someone tapping his shoulder. He turned around to meet Reggie's angry tear stained face. The smile quickly vanished from his face and his two friends stopped talking. For a few seconds the beach was dead silent, then a loud noise echoed throughout the silence- SMACK!!  
  
Reggie had slapped Sam's face with all her stregnth, causing him to stumble but was able to keep standing; until she hit him again that is. Sam was now on his back and Reggie began screaming at him while he could only stare in shock.  
  
"...I hate you Sam!! I hate you!!" Reggie's words stung Sam more than his father's last words to him had. Reggie contiued screaming at him, but he blocked her out. Sam stood up and walked away from the crowd. "Where the hell do you think your going?!!" Reggie screamed. Sam said nothing and continued walking away, he raised his right hand that was balled up in a fist exept for his middle finger.  
  
Reggie could only gasp at Sam's silent remark. Rob and Jess hurried after Sam and Reggie dropped to her knees and bawled. Otto was about to follow after Sam but was held back by Twister. Sam did not have to turn around to look at the crowd behind him, for he could feel their glares burning into his back.  
  
Next chapter: Uh...I'll think of something good, don't worry.  
  
A/N: Big thanks to everybody who reviewed my story.   
  
A/N to mike2000: You bring up a good point about Doug Dullard. Perhaps I'll write fic about his childhood in the future. Thanks again for your reviews! 


	6. Downward Spiral

Disclamer: I own none of the Rocket Power characters, but I do own Rob and Jess.  
  
Chapter 6: Downward Spiral  
  
Sam did not leave his house for the remainder of the weekend. He spent his time listening to CDs, doing homework, and dreading Monday when he would have to face everybody, and Reggie.  
  
Paula Dullard noticed her son's behavior and asked him what was wrong, his response was-"Nothing." But she did not have time to talk with her moody teenage son, because she had to go to a convention in a city that was an hour away.  
  
"Oh well, looks like its just you and me again buddy" Sam said to his knife before he brought it down to his scarred wrist and began what had become a daily ritual since last week.  
  
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Across the cul-de-sac, Reggie Rocket had been spending her Sunday the same way as Sam. Except she cried mostly. Otto had suggested that he and Twister have a "friendly chat" with Sam, but Reggie knew what he ment and strictly forbid him from laying a finger on Sam.  
  
People who had witnessed her fight with Sam called her all day, asking if she was okay, offering to beat up Sam; but she ignored these calls and any one who tried to make her feel better.   
  
Her father tried to talk to her as well as Tito; but she had screamed him out of her room and cursed at Tito's quotations of the ancient hawaiians. Reggie had decided that her friendship with Sam was officially over and tried to convince Otto and Twister to do the same.  
  
"But what about street hockey? Who's gonna be our goalie?" Twister asked.  
  
"We'll have try-outs for a new goalie and besides, Sam hasn't been coming to practice anyway." Reggie said.  
  
"What about "The 'Zine"? without Sam's computer skills, its gonna totally suck!" Otto whined.  
  
"I've been watching Sam on the computer for years, I know how to do it myself now." She retorted.  
  
"So what your saying is that we're like, not gonna hang out with Sam anymore?" Twister asked in a confused voice. Reggie and Otto both sighed.  
  
"Yes Maurice. Besides, Sam has his own friends to hang out with. He doesn't need us and we don't need him." She said defensively.  
  
"I guess your right Reg." Twister said in a defeated voice.  
  
"Of course I am." Reg said as she teared a photograph of Sam and her off her bedroom wall.  
  
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AS he walked through the crowed hallway of the school on Monday morning, Sam heard whispers and saw people pointing at him and giving dirty looks. He walked a bit faster, looking down at his shoes and wishing he could disappear of the face of the earth. He suddenly felt himself colliding into the back of another student.  
  
"Sorry" he muttered, not looking at the person.  
  
"Don't worry about it besides, I'm not the one you should be apologizing to, Shady." The person whom Sam ran into said. Sam looked up and to meet the face of Twwister Rodrigez.  
  
"How is she?" Sam asked, knowing perfectly well who Twister was talking about.  
  
"Miserable, she barely talked to anyone yesterday. She says she never wants to talk to you again, but I still think you should apologize Sammy. She might not want to make up with you but, its still the right thing to do." Twister said, showing an uncharacteristic wisdom.  
  
"I'll try." replied Sam and he continued walking to class. Sam reached his first and favorite class, Art. Rob and Jess were already sitting at the usual table, talking in low voices. They looked up to see Sam and immediately put on false smiles and gestured him to come over to the table. Without a doubt in his mind, Sam knew that they were obviously talking about him.  
  
"How ya' feelin' goood buddy?" Rob asked in a southern accent as a lame attempt to cheer Sam up. Sam put on a fake sugary smile and replied-  
  
"Like shit, thank you very much!" the smile then disappeared off Sam's face. Rob and Jess exchanged anxious looks.  
  
"So how are things with your girlfriend, or should I say ex-girlfriend? Jess asked in a casual voice.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Sam asked in confusion. Jess heaved a sigh and said-  
  
"You know, Saturday night, the beach, she screamed her lungs out and slapped in front of like... fifty people. You'd think someone would remeber being dissed like that-"   
  
"No not that!" Sam interrupted, "What do you mean, girlfriend? Me and Reg have been best friends since I moved here." Rob and Jess looked at him in shock.  
  
"You mean you two were never dating?" Rob asked  
  
"Of course not, why would you get that idea?" Sam asked.  
  
"Well you guys did spend a lot of time together. And Reg was always checking you out." Jess said  
  
"That's what friends do! They hang out together- hold on! What you mean she was checking me out?!" Sam asked in disbelief.  
  
"Oh come on! Don't tell me you've never noticed it!! Anybody could tell that she liked as way more than a friend!" Jess told Sam, who could only gawk.  
  
"Well this complicates things a bit." Rob said. Sam rested his head in his hands as he felt a throbbing headache starting.  
  
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Reggie's day had been going smoothly so far, when people asked her if she was alright, she said 'yes' and gave them false smiles. On the outside, she appeared calm and happy, as if Saturday night had never happened. But inside she was miserable, anxious, and nervous about her next class; fifth period chemistry with her former best friend.  
  
Sam was already there when she entered the classroom, he was staring down at his notebook as if it were the most interesting thing in the world, and it wasn't even open. His head stared to lift up and Reggie quickly averted her eyes from him. She sat up front with her back to Sam, she could feel his eyes on her.  
  
Thankfully, the whole class was spent taking notes, so Sam and Reg didn't have to face eachother. The boys sitting around Sam whispered insults to him, they never did this before. But since Reggie's outburst, people usually ignored Sam were starting to hate him. The teacher did not notice Sam being picked on, but Sam didn't really care; he just ignored them.  
  
The bell finally rang, and Sam was one of the first people to exit the room. He quickly made his way to the back of the school where no one would give him a hard time. The usual outcasts were there, nobody even glanced at Sam, which suited him just fine.  
  
"So, have you talked to her yet?" a voice behind asked. Sam spun around and saw Twister, towering over him.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Sam asked. Popular people like Twister, didn't come behind the school where all the "freaks",a s they were called, hung out during free periods. People like him would rather sit out in the sun, play frisbee and gossip with friends.  
  
"I knew you would be here." he simply said "have you apologized to Reggie yet?" he asked again.  
  
"No, but I will. Just not now when she's surrounded by people, I wanna talk to her alone. So get off my back already!" Sam said defensively.  
  
"I'm not forcing you to talk to Reggie. You do what you want, Sam. But if I know your as good a person as Reggie says- well once said you are, then you'll do the right thing and swallow your pride, and you'll talk to her." Twister said in a quiet voice. Sam just looked at him in disbelief. He would have never expected Twister to ever say such words. Sam quickly replaced his awed look with a frown.  
  
"Whatever Twist." He said. And walked around him towards the school. He was surprised that Twister made no move to stop him. Sam entered the deserted halls and went into the Men's room, which was also empty. He went into the stall that was the farthest away from the door and locked the door.  
  
Sam pulled out his trusty blade and rolled up his shirt sleave. He brought the knife down a couple of times, being careful not to cut too deep. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief, the door to the bathroom squeked open and Sam's eyes opened in panic. He grabbed some toilet paper and cleaned off his wrist in a hurry, but the blood kept running.  
  
"Sam are you in here?" a familiar voice called out. 'Rob' Sam said to himself. He threw the bloody paper into the toilet end flushed. He rolled down the sleaves of his black long sleave, silenty thanking god for his choice of clothes that day. He walked out if the stall to see Rob looking at him with concern.  
  
"Are you alright? I saw that Twister guy talking to you and then you just ran off." Rob said in hurried voice. "Was he giving you a hard time?" he asked.  
  
"Don't worry about it Rob." Sam said with a forced smile. "Come on, the periods' almost over." The two friends exited the restroom. Sam had failed to notice the blood that had dripped on the floor of his stall, but Rob didn't. He said nothing to Sam.  
  
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The sun had set and Reggie started to make her way home from the beach, she had beem surfing since school let out to clear her mind. For the first time in a few days, she was in a good mood and nothing could ruin it...well maybe one "thing" could- "Reggie" a familiar voice called out behind her.  
  
Reggie stopped dead in her tracks, she recognized the voice, and it belonged to the one person she never wanted to see again. She slowly turned around to meet the face of her ex-best friend.  
  
"What do you want Dullard?" she asked coldly. She was surprised to see that Sam was not at all taken back by her harsh voice as he walked closer to her.  
  
"I just wanted to talk to you." he said with hope in his eyes. Reggie considered his proposal for a few moments and said "Talk then."  
  
"I just wanted to apologize for not showing up on Saturday night, you see the party was the same night as a concert that I already had tickets to and I completely forgot about that when I agreed to go to the party with you." he explained.  
  
"Oh, so when you remebered about your little concert you completely forgot about me is that what you're saying? Look if you already had plans you could have just called me so I would know that you were ditching me for something 'important'!" she said harshly.  
  
"Reg, its not like that and you know it! Hey I'm sorry alright? I fucked up, I admit it. All I wanted to do is apologize for it, you don't have to bite my head off!" Sam retorted in an agitated voice.  
  
"You're right Sam, I don't have to bite your head off. I don't have to accept your apology and I don't have to assoiciate with you anymore. Ya know what? I don't even have to say anything to you, because as far as I'm concerned You're dead to me Sam Dullard!" she screamed. Sam could only stand in shock as she walked away.   
  
Reggie's last words to him had been the same as his father's last words to him. It was hard to tell whose words hurt worse, but it didn't help to just think about pain, he needed to feel it.  
  
"Fine, if she wants me dead, so be it." Sam said under his breath angrily, and walked home while thinking how he was going to give Reggie her wish.  
  
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"Are you sure it was his blood?" Jess asked in disbelief. Rob had just finished telling her about his confrontation with Sam in the Men's room that afternoon.  
  
"Well he was wearing long sleaves, but come on Jess, Sam has been really depressed lately." Rob insisted.  
  
"Rob, just because someone's depressed, does not mean they resort to self-mutalation. Besides Sam would never do anything like that." she said.  
  
"Well even if he's not cutting himself, he's still not okay, and we should talk him. Because we're basically the only friends he has left." Rob persuaded.   
  
"Alright, we'll talk to him. But I still can't believe you would think Sam would be sucidal just because he got into a fight with his girlfriend." she said while defeatedly putting on her sneakers.  
  
"For your information, just because someone intentionally cuts themselves does not make them suicidal. They just use it as a release. And Sam and Reggie were never dating." He said in a annoyed voice.  
  
"Whatever Robert, and lay off the psychology books." Jess said while following Rob out the door into the cool night air.  
  
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Sam's home was empty as usual, and for Sam this was a good thing; no interruptions. He quickly made his way downstairs to his bedroom. He walked into his bathroom and turned on the water to the tub. He walked back into his room and seached for a piece of paper and a pen.   
  
After he finally located a notebook, he jotted down a note to those whom he held close: his mom, the Rocket crew, Rob, Jess, ect. In it he told them not to blame themselves, for it was his fault for being such a screw-up. The note was only a couple sentences long, but still meaningful. He took his knife out of his pocket and walked into the bathroom.  
  
The tub was now nearly filled to the brim with warm water, Sam shut off the tap before it could overflow. He tapped the note up on the the mirror and pulled his long sleaved shirt off. The new cuts stood out brightly on his pale skin. Sam brought his blade down on his left arm hard, making a long cut that went from his wrist past his elbow. He hissed in pain as the new cut bisected threw old scars. He repeated the cut again on his right arm.  
  
Tears were now streaming down his face as he kneeled down to the tub and submergered both bleeding arms into the water. He choked back sobs as his life flashed before his eyes- his father's angry face, meeting Reggie for the first time, Otto and Twister's taunts, learning to surf, his mother's smiling face, running, Jess, Rob, his fight with Reggie...  
  
Sam began to feel dizzy, the water in the tub was now a dark shade of red. It was becoming harder to breathe, and everything was going black. Suddenly he heard a familar voice scream his name, followed by another cursing. He felt hands grab his shoulders, but he passed out before he could see who was there.  
  
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Regggie was not in a good mood, after her confrontation with Sam, she took the longer route home to blow off some steam, and to avoid Sam. She was aproaching the cul-de-sac when she saw two figures standing in front of Sam's house, doing what seemed to be arguing.  
  
"What are we gonna say to him?" a female voice said.  
  
"I'm gonna get right to the point and ask him if he's cutting." a masculine voice replied. Reggie suddenly became intrigued in their conversation. 'Are they talking about Sam?' she thought to herself.  
  
"He's not cutting Rob." the female voice insisted. "But how do you know that?" The man's voice challenged.  
  
"Because Sam's not like that!" Reggie let out a gasp and immedietly regretted it as Jess and Rob turned around to catch her. They stared at her in shock, Reggie became nervous and cleared her throught.  
  
"uh...what did you say was wrong with Sam?" she asked meekly.  
  
"What do you care?" Jess sneered. Rob ignored Jess's sour attitude and explained what he saw that afternoon. As she listened, every bad thought about Sam in Reggie's head became replaced with guilt and concern.  
  
"I'm coming with you." She clearly stated. Jess opened her mouth to object but Rob gave her a hard look telling her not to.  
  
They walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. A few moments passed with no noise from inside the house and Rob rang the doorbell again. Still nothing. He started banging on the door and yelling Sam's name as Reg and Jess looked throught the windows. Rob finally grew impatient and turned the doorknob, the door was unlocked.  
  
He quickly ran through the door and towards the basement stairs where the only source of light currently was. The girls quickly followed. They reached the bottom of the stairs to see that the room was vacant. Reg saw that the bathroom door was open a crack and the light was on. Not even thinking that Sam wouldn't be decent, Reggie opened the door to bathroom to see the most gruesome sight of her life.  
  
Sam's arms were covered in blood and his body was swaying in exhaustion, a red crusted blade lay by his feet. "SAMMY!" she screamed. Rob ran up behind her.  
  
"Shit." He said panicily. He ran up and grabbed Sam as he fell unconsious and lay him on the floor He brought his fingers to Sam's neck, searching for a pulse. He looked up at the girl's stunned faces.  
  
"Call an ambulance, now!" He ordered.  
  
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Next chapter: The hospital, obviously!  
  
A/N: Thank you reviewers! 


	7. Why?

disclamer: I own none of the Rocket Power characters, I do own Rob and Jess.  
  
Chapter 7: Why?  
  
Sam opened his eyes to see a blinding white, he was immedietly confused.  
  
'What the hell, This isn't my room! What happened?' he thought to himself. The memories of his suicide attempt came flooding back into his head- the note, the bathroom, his knife, blood stained water, a familar voice screaming his name.  
  
"Oh shit." Sam said as he observed his surroundings. He was in a white hospital room, he was wearing a hospital gown, there were a series of stitches on his arms and tubes pumping blood back into his body.  
  
'I'm still alive, they know about the cutting. I have to face everyone now!' he thought panicly. He started breathing heavily and beads of sweat formed on his brow.   
  
"Easy there kid. We wouldn't want to lose you again." a husky voice said. Sam looked up to see a man wearing green scrubs. He had broad shoulders and took up most of the doorway, his dark skin and hair lead Sam to assume that he was latino.  
  
"How long have I been out?" Sam asked the man.  
  
"About 18 hours, we had to use security to get rid of your friends last night, they really wanted to see you, but the doctors were kind of busy making sure you wouldn't die. My name is Phil by the way, I'm a nurse here at Ocean Shores Hospital." He said, "don't laugh" he added jokingly. Sam gave a small chuckle and examined the stitches on his arms.  
  
"Yeah, the doctors put in about fifty stitches total, it's not as bad as it sounds, but I'm afaid your gonna have those scars for the rest of your life." he said solemnly.  
  
"What happened after I passed out?" Sam asked quietly.  
  
"Well, those three friends of yours found you just in time, any later and you would've been dead like you wanted." Sam bent his head down in shame. "Don't start with that self-pity stuff kid, you made a mistake, you're human. Anyway, the doctors stitched you up in a hurry so you wouldn't loose anymore blood. Then they got some blood that was donated to the hospital and pumped it back into you. Your friends even volunteered to give blood, only one of them matched your type though."  
  
"Which one?" Sam asked.  
  
"Uh, it was one the girls; the pretty one with purple hair, name started with an 'R' I think?" Phil said while racking his brain for answers.  
  
"Reggie" Sam said feebily.  
  
"Yeah that's the one. Anyway her blood in now flowing through your veins; you've got some great friends Sam. They wouldn't leave until we said you were alright. They had to got to school but their back now." Sam glanced at the clock, it was four in the afternoon. "Can't see why you would want to leave them." Phil added in a soft voice.  
  
"Everyone turned against me because I've been a real asshole lately. I figured everyone would be better off without me." Sam said in a shaky voice. Phil nodded and began talking agian.  
  
"I've worked in hospitals for a few years now, not just here but in cities too. I've seen countless patients like you; failed suicide attempts. There have been people younger than you, older than you. People who overdosed on tylenol, people who tried to hang themselves, cutters like yourself. But they all had one thing in common, they all had the same excuse- that the world would be better off without them."   
  
"But, your one of the lucky ones Sam. You have people in that waiting room who care about you. Some patients have people who couldn't care less or nobody at all. Like it or not, your gonna have to face them, and their gonna ask 'why?'." Phil lectured.  
  
"What do I tell them?" Sam asked.   
  
"Tell them, everything- your feelings, your regrets, your reasons. They'll understand." Phil said with a comforting smile.  
  
"But what if they don't?" Sam asked  
  
"Then they will eventually, time heals all wounds Sam. Trust me on that one. Because I was in your shoes once, and it wasn't fast, it wasn't easy, but everything did get better." Phil said, he raised his arms that were littered with faint scars.  
  
"Hey is my mom out there"? Sam asked.  
  
"Yeah, why?" Phil asked.  
  
"Because I'm ready to see her." Sam said  
  
"I'll go get her." Phil said with a smile.  
  
"Thanks for everything Phil, that was quite a speech."  
  
"Don't mention it. I've told that speech so many times, I could do it in my sleep." For the first time in a few days, Sam laughed.  
  
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Paula Dullard sat nervously in the hospital waiting room and read Sam's note far what seemed to be the hundreth time-  
  
Everybody:  
  
It seems that my life is not worth living, I continuously hurt those around me and they turn their backs on me. I don't blame them, I have always been a screw up, just like my dad said. The best thing for me to do is to take me out of your lives forever, I hope you understand.  
  
- Sam L. Dullard.  
  
P.S.- This is my own fault, don't blame yourselves. Especially you Mom.  
  
Paula wiped away her tears for the hundreth time, the last line of the not always got to her. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see a boy with spiked hair and dark circles around his eyes.  
  
"Don't blame yourself Mrs.D, Sam's gonna be fine." He said.  
  
"I should have seen this coming. Maybe if I had taken him to a psychologist or done something about his father..." She rambled on.  
  
"Hold on, what does Sam's dad have to do with this?" Jess interupted. Paula let out a sigh, and began telling the story of Sam's childhood. His father's rage and drinking problem, the beatings, the divorce, and the fact that Sam hasn't communicated with his father for three years. Sam's friends could only look at her in shock; they couldn't believe it at first but after a few minutes of pondering, it made sense.  
  
"Have you talked to Sam's father at all?" Reggie asked, tears streaming down her face.  
  
"I don't know why but, after Sam turned thirteen, Doug's only communication with us were the checks that he was required to send us every month. Other than that, nothing." the crying women said. Just then, Phil walked into the waiting room.  
  
"Mrs.Dullard, your son is ready to see you now." He said softly. Paula jumped out of her seat and followed Phil down the hallways of the hospital, trying to keep as calm as possible. They stopped in front of Room 135, Phil opened the door for Mrs.Dullard whom ran over to her pale son and engulfed him in a hug.  
  
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Half an hour later, Paula left Sam's room. During their talk she had surprisingly managed to stay calm and understanding instead of screaming her head off at him for being so stupid. Sam had told her everyhting; his father's surprise visit when he was thirteen, the reason he changed his look, the cutting, the fights.  
  
As she listened, everything became clearer, she asked Sam if he wanted to see a pyschologist and was surprised when he said he'd think about instead of immediately saying 'no'. A tear rolled down her cheek- 'He's growing up.' she thought to herself.  
  
She walked into the waiting room to see that Rob, Jess, Otto, Twister, and Reggie were still there. Rob looked up from his book to see Mrs.Dullard standing there with tears in her eyes. He leaped out of his seat and began pummiling her with questions, as well as the rest of the teenagers.  
  
"Calm down, he's fine!" She reassured them.   
  
"Is he really okay, or is that just what he told you?" Twister asked. Paula looked at him in shock for a few moments, while analyzing Sam's behavior when she talked to him. "Well...he seemed fine to me, but he could just be putting on an act." She explained.  
  
"Can we see him yet?" Jess pleaded.  
  
"Sam said he was ready to talk to you and Rob. He's in room 135..." before Paula could finish, the two teens dressed in black almost ran out of the waiting room towards Sam's room. "Well... if you'll excuse me for a moment, I have to call Doug and tell him what's going on." She said to the Rockets, Twister could have sworn that Paula's voice was laced with venom as she mentioned her ex-husband.   
  
The teens merely nodded as the blonde women walked outside while turning on her cell phone. Reggie became more nervous as she waited 'Why dosen't Sam want to see me yet, we're best friends, well we were best friends. He has a good reason to avoid me.' Reggie thought to herself, she started crying again. Twister put a comforting arm around her shoulders.  
  
"Are you alright?" he asked, then immedietly regreting asking her that. 'Of course she's not alright you idiot! Her best friend tried to kill himself!' he thought hatefully to himself.  
  
"I don't think I can talk to Sam right now." she wimpered  
  
"That's alright. Let's just hang out until Mrs.D is back so we can tell her we're leaving." Twister said in a defeated voice. He had really wanted to talk to Sam.  
  
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Doug Dullard sat in his lavish office in Kansas. Ever since his divorce, he had been able to work more hours which earned him a series of promotions, a private office on the nineteenth floor of his office building, and a BMW.  
  
He sat at his desk working on a new advertising campaign that would surely earn him another promotion (not that he needed it). Unlike other people on his floor, Doug's desk was neat and bare when it was not littered with papers. Eveyone else decorated their desk and office with pictures of their beloved children, Doug however, threw out every picture of Sam that he owned. His phone started ringing, Doug looked up from his work and picked up his phone. "Hello, Dullard here." he answered.  
  
"Doug, this is Paula." a women's voice said. Doug was shocked, he expected the phonecall to be a business associate, not his ex-wife whom he hadn't spoken to in three years.  
  
"What do you want?"he said in an annoyed voice. Paula was not taken back by his rudeness as she continued talking.  
  
"Sam's in the hospital, Doug. He tried to kill himself." she said  
  
"Did it work?" Doug asked in a toneless voice. Paula gasped.  
  
"Doug Dullard how could you?! He's your only son."  
  
"I have no son." Doug growled. "Well is he dead or not?" he asked grumpily.  
  
"For your information, he's fine the doctors were able to stitch up his wrists and replace the lost blood."   
  
"Figures, I always knew he would be a failure. Can't even kill himself correctly, the little bastard." He mumbled.  
  
"You disgust me Doug! How could you be so cruel? Apparently Sam's been cutting himself for a few years now. And do you know why Doug? It's because of you, your abusive behavior towards Sam has caused him to cut himself, change his image, and resort to reckless behavior!" Paule nearly screamed into the phone.  
  
Doug was now fuming. 'How dare she talk to me like that! I did everything that my father did to me, it builds character! It's not my fault she gave birth to a wuss.' He thought to himself. He than realized that his ex-wife was still on the phone. "Doug! Are you there Doug? Answer me dammit!!" Her distant voice demanded. Doug slammed the phone onto the reciever and stormed out of his office.  
  
He gave no apologies to those he ran into as he stomped into the empty elevator that he was fortunate to get. He didn't feel like talking to anybody right now. The elevator finally reached the parking garage and Doug got into his shiny black BMW and drove out of the parking garage, a bit too fast.  
  
He drove for a few miles until he reached the nearest bar, a high class, sophisticated one that he went to often. People greeted him as he walk through the door and towards the bar, he ignored them.   
  
"Scotch!" he demanded to the bartender, whom responded quickly by pouring him a shot of the amber liquid and setting it before him. Doug grabbed the glass and downed it in one gulp. "Keep it coming." He said to the bartender.  
  
After half an hour, Doug was still drinking nonstop. The bartender called security, whom dragged the screaming drunk man out of the building.  
  
"Bastards." Doug muttered angrily as he stumbled towards his car. He started the car and didn't even look behind him before putting the car in reverse and and slamming on the gas pedal. He pulled out into the middle of the street, surprising a speeding truck that slammed into the driver's side of Doug's car.   
  
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Paula turned of her cellphone angrily. 'What did I ever see in him?' she thought to herself as she walked back into the waiting room.  
  
"Uh...Mrs.Dullard, I don't think I can talk to Sam right now." Reggie said, somewhat ashamed.  
  
"That's okay dear, you go home." Paula said, wipeing off the tears of fury caused by Doug.  
  
"How did Sam's dad react?" Otto asked. Paula snapped her head up and said  
  
"He wasn't very sympathetic, to tell the truth." She said sadly.  
  
"I'm sorry Mrs.D" Otto said   
  
"Don't be, he's an asshole." Paula said. This shocked the teens, they had never heard Paula swore before. The three teens walked out of the waiting room solemnly. Paula decided she wanted to go home, and walked to her son's room.   
  
When she opened the door, all three teenagers were laughing their heads off at something Rob had just said. 'Their acting like nothing happened!' Paula thought angrily. 'No, don't do that! This means he's getting better.' she reassured herself. The teenagers noticed her presence and stopped laughing.  
  
"Well we better get going, See ya' Sam!" Jess said quickly.  
  
"Goodnight Mrs.D" the two teens said to Paula. She smiled and walked over to Sam's bed.  
  
"I really need to get some sleep, are you gonna be alright?" she asked  
  
"Of course mom, go home. You've been here for hours." Sam said reassuringly. Paula kissed his forehead and walked out of the room. She walked throught the empty waiting room towards her car.  
  
When she arrived home, the phone was ringing. Paula heaved a sigh as she picked it up.  
  
"Hello?" she said tiredly.  
  
"Is this Paula Dullard?" a voice asked.  
  
"Yes it is, who are you?" she responded.  
  
"My name Officer Rosten, I'm an Kansas State Trooper. Mrs.Dullard I'm afraid I have some bad news regarding your ex-husband."  
  
"What happened?" She asked panicly.  
  
"Your husband was in a car accident..." the trooper trailed on.   
  
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Paula raced through the doors of the hospital, ignoring the protests of any nurses or secretaries. A women stepped in front of her-"Ma'am, I'm sorry but visiting hours are over." she said, but Paula just pushed her out of the way and continued on to Sam's room.  
  
Sam layed his bed, trying to fall asleep but with no luck. The door burst opened as his mother ran through. Sam jerked back up and looked at her in confusion. She was brething heavily and had tears in her eyes.  
  
"Mom, what's wrong?" Sam asked.  
  
"It's your father Sam, he's dead." Paula said. Sam could only stare in shock.  
  
Next chapter: Sam and Reg talk, finally.  
  
A/N: Big thanks to all you reviewers. I hope this chapter was worth the wait and doesn't ruin the hole fic because of its crappiness.  
  
enema-of-the-state182: Yes, my penname does have something to do with Chester Bennington, I love Linkin Park! 


	8. Moment of Truth

disclamer:I own nothing.  
  
CHapter 8: Moment of Truth  
  
Two days had passed since Sam was admitted to the hospital and Reggie had still not talked to him. She heard about his father's death and didn't think talking to Sam would cheer him up, after all the crap she put him through.  
  
Both Otto and Twister had visited him, as well as Sherri, Trish and his teammates from cross country. And Rob and Jess were with him whenever they weren't at school. She talked to her friends who visited him, he was feeling better mentally and physichally. He had even been asking where Reggie was. Which was good, she hoped.  
  
The days after Sam's "accident" had been a complete blurr to Reggie. People at school were always asking her if she was okay, expecting her to breakdown crying. Surprisingly, Reg had not cried since her night in the waiting room. Simply put, she was numb.  
  
The days strangely became colder, weather-wise, it was only October and Ocean Shores never experienced much cold weather at all. Reggie pulled her sweatshirt around her body tighter as she trudged home from school, the wind had turned her hair into a bushy mess, and dark clouds spread over the town. 'Looks like another storm' she thought to herself.  
  
She made it inside her house just in time as the rain poured down on the unexpecting citizens of Ocean Shores. Without acknowledging her father's presence, she ran up to her room and slammed the door. Ray Rocket let out an exasperated sigh and continued reading the paper with mild interest until his eyes ran over the headline- LOCAL TEEN SURVIVES SUICIDE. The article mentioned how Sam was found by his friends in his home bleeding to death. The article did not mention any names of the teenagers, but it did identify Paula Dullard as "the survivor's" mother and named the street where he lived.  
  
"So much for confedentiality." Ray said as he angrily threw the paper down. He walked up to Reggie's room and knocked on her door.  
  
"What?" an annoyed voice retorted. Ray opened the door without any permission; his daughter sat at her desk tapping away at her computer.  
  
"What cha' doin'?" he asked casually.  
  
"Working on the 'Zine. But its gonna come out a little later than usual." she said, not moving her eyes from the screen.  
  
"Must be hard without Sam." Ray said. Reggie stopped typing and glarred up at her father.  
  
"What do you want?" Ray was quite taken back by his daughter's tone of voice, and suddenly felt less authoritive.  
  
"I-uh... just read an interesting article in today's paper." He said, trying to find his voice. Reggie said nothing. "Apparently, word of Sam's uh... situation has gotten out to the press. It didn't mention his name but it did give out his mother's."  
  
"And why are you telling me this?" she asked in her "leave-me-alone" voice.  
  
"Has anyone at school found out about Sam?" He asked defeatedly.  
  
"Well, it has been the hot topic in gossip for the past few days." she said sarcastically.  
  
Ray groaned and looked out the window to the storm that was occuring. A pair of headlights made it's way through the cul-de-sac and into the Dullard's driveway. Ray watched with unmistakeable curiousity that didn't go unnoticed by Reggie, as she had gotten up and stood next to him watching the car.  
  
The car had been parked and turned off. The figure of a women stepped out of the driver's side, Mrs.Dullard. Surprisingly, another figure got out of the car. Even through the thick rain, Reggie could make out it's skinny frame that was dressed in familar black clothing. Both figures rushed into the house and out of view quickly. But Reggie knew what was going on, Sam had returned home.  
  
"Reg? Reggie?! Are you okay?" Reggie snapped out of daze by her frantic father's concern.  
  
"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine." Ray gave a questioning look.  
  
"Honey, you know you're gonna have to talk to Sam eventually."  
  
"I will dad, just not at this very moment, okay?" Reggie begged.  
  
"Okay." Ray said pulling his daughter into a protective hug. "Dinner's in half an hour. Hopefully Otto will remember to come home." He said, walking towards her door. Reggie merely nodded and sat back down in front of her computer trying cope with her writer's block.Paula examined her son as they sat at the dinner table. His skin that had become lightly bronzed during his time in California had lost it's radience and was now as pale as it was when they first moved to Ocean Shores. He had lost weight during his time in the hospital causing him to look more skeletal than ever before.  
  
But the most drastic change in his appearence had to be his eyes; what was once an electric blue was now dull and greyish. Which made his depression more noticable.  
  
"You alright mom?" his voice interupted her thoughts.  
  
"Of course Sam, why do ask?"  
  
"Well, you've only been starring at me for five minutes and your soup's probably cold by now. But then again, I might just be jumping to conclusions." Sam joked. Paula looked down at her full bowl of soup to see that it was no longer steaming and had formed a thin rubbery skin on top.  
  
"Oh, well I guess I'm just happy to have some company around here for a change." she said lamely. Sam raised an eyebrow and got up from his chair.  
  
"Sam..." his mother started.  
  
"Relax, I'm just getting more soup." Sam reassured her as walked over to the kitchen stove.  
  
"Wow, already?" Paula asked.  
  
"Yeah, the food they serve in the hospital sucks. I've been dieing for a home-cooked meal." Sam said, causing Paula to chuckle.  
  
"Home-cooked meal? Sam, you know that soup came out of a can. All I did was heat it up."  
  
"Your point being...?" Sam asked while hungrily spooning the hot liquid into his mouth. Paula could only laugh louder.  
  
"Hey! What's all this racket?" Said a masculine voice. Paula and Sam looked to the doorway to see a tall, thin man with dark hair.  
  
"Tom! What are you doing here?!" Paula shieked in surprise.  
  
"Robbing your house, what else." He said sarcastically with a grin on his face. "Alctually, I missed you so I thought I'd stop by." he said while looking at Paula. He started walking over to the table with outstretched arms.  
  
"That's sweet of you Tom." Paula said, turning towards him to accept his hug. But at that the last minute, Tom sidestepped her and embraced Sam in a fatherly hug, leaving a very confused and slightly jealous Paula. Both Sam and Tom burst out into laughter as they seperated. Paula put on a face of mock anger and glared at Tom, causing them to laugh harder.  
  
"I missed you too, Paula." He said as he pulled his girlfriend into a hug. The three of them spent the next half hour talking and laughing at the table. To Sam it felt like he was part of a "real" family again; for the first time in days, he felt like nothing was wrong in the world."...and then I nailed a 720 McTwist! You should have seen it Raymundo, it was totally sweet..." Reggie blocked out her brother's egotistical drivel and poked at the uneaten food on her plate.  
  
"Reg, what's wrong?" she snapped out of thoughts by her father's voice and looked up to see his concerned face. She put on a false smile-"Nothing, Dad." Ray gave her a questioning her look and turned his attention back to Otto.  
  
"So, Otto... have you heard about Sam? He came home today." he informed his son.  
  
"Really? Wow, he recovered fast! This is awesome, now that Shady's back, our hockey team won't suck! Huh Reg?... Reg?" Otto looked at his silent sister. "Oh, come on! Is he still not on the team? I thought you guys made up."  
  
"I haven't talked to Sam since before the, um..."accident"." she said meekly. Otto jumped out of his seat.  
  
"What!! But he's your best bro! Why haven't you talked to him? Are still mad at him for that stupid beach party thing? Or are you just being a shoobie because what you think he did to himself was like, selfish or whatever?" he inquired angrily. Reggie just looked at him, shocked.  
  
"Just shut up! I'll talk to him when I'm ready!" she screamed.  
  
"Now hold on you two-" Ray started.  
  
"When you're ready? What do you mean when you're ready" Otto mocked.  
  
"What I mean is-" Reggie yelled back  
  
"Both of you be quiet!!" Ray yelled at the top of his lungs. Both teenagers stopped talking and looked fearfully at their seething father. "Reggie, as much as you may hate this, I have to agree with Otto. You should talk to Sam or else you're never going to stop being miserable."  
  
Reggie glared at her father and left the table, as she stomped towards her room, Ray heard her mutter-"Whatever." Shortly followed by the slamming of a door.  
  
Reggie threw herself down on her bed and screamed into her pillow. She did not shed any tears, she was too angry to cry.  
  
'Why do they have to control my life? I'm not ready to talk to Sam! Dammit, why can't I just talk to him?' Reggie thought to herself as she flung her pillow across the room. The pillow knocked over a lamp near the window and Reggie angrily walked over to it. As she picked up the lamp, Reggie looked out her window to Sam's house. She could see that light shining through the basement window, Sam's room. The rest of the house was dark.  
  
'Well... now or never, Rocket-Girl.' she said to herself. She quietly opened the door of her room and crept downstairs, not to get noticed by Otto or her father. Both were sitting in front of the T.V., she skirted by the living room, into the kitchen and out the back door.After an hour of talking with his mother and her boyfriend, Sam excused himself and went to his room. As soon as the door was locked, he turned on his stereo on a low volume and plopped down on his bed with a magazine. He wasn't reading for long when he heard a the sound of fingers tapping on glass. He looked up and almost fell off his bed when he saw Reggie.  
  
She was crouched on her knees staring at Sam with a nervous look in her eyes. Sam got up and opened the window for his best friend.  
  
"Hey stranger." Sam said with a slight smile on his face. This seemed to calm Reggie as she too smiled.  
  
"Hey" she answered back. Sam led her over to his bed where both teens sat down. Sam turned off the stereo, allowing an awkward silence to fall over them. "So what's new with you Reg?" Sam asked casually.  
  
"Sam, I'm really happy that you're still alive." Reggie said truthfully, not daring to look him in the eye.  
  
"Okay...but that doesn't really answer my question." Sam said confused.  
  
"I'm sorry I blew up at you at the beach party. I'm sorry I ignored tou. I'm sorry I treated you like dirt. I'm sorry I didn't visit you in the hospital. I'm sorry I drove you into killing yourself-" she rambled, but Sam interupted her.  
  
"What do you mean 'drove me into killing myself'? Do you blame yourself for what I did?" Sam asked her. She lifted her head up to meet his eyes and nodded. "Well, don't! I'm the only to blame. I was being stupid, I'm the one who always screws up!" He said angrily. "Maybe my dad was right."  
  
"Right about what?" Reg asked  
  
"That I was destined to be a huge screw-up for the rest of my life."  
  
"He really said that to you?" she asked. He nodded. "Don't believe that shit, Sam. Your father was wrong about you. And he was wrong for beating you."  
  
"You found out about that, huh?" Sam asked quietly  
  
"Your mom told us about it."  
  
"I always had a feeling you guys would find out, What with the scars and everything. And when you did, you would shower me with pity and I would go fucking ballistic. Please don't by the way." He added.  
Reggie smiled and said-"Don't worry, I won't."  
  
Sam's face softened a bit, he suddenly realized that he was standing up but didn't remember doing so. He sat down besides Reggie, neither of them said anything for a few moments. Sam started running his fingers over the cuts in his arms in deep thought. Reggie noticed.  
  
"How long?" she asked him.  
  
"I started when I was like, thirteen. I didn't do it very often but, a couple of weeks ago I started cutting almost daily. I never intended to let it get this bad though." Reggie felt tears forming in her eyes.  
  
"I should have noticed. I'm so sorry Sam, I'm a terrible friend." she sobbed. Sam looked up at her in surprise.  
  
"Actually Reg, you're the best friend I ever had. Ya' know when I moved here, my plan was to stay locked up in my house in front of the T.V. for the next 7 years. Then I met you guys, and you were the only one to accept me for who I was. And I thank you for that." Sam said. Reggie smiled despite the tears in her eyes and pulled Sam into a hug. The embrace lasted for a few minutes; with Reggie crying on Sam's shoulder as he lightly rubbed her back. When they finally pulled away, Reggie looked down at Sam's arms, Sam, beginning to feel self-conscious, almost crossed his arms over his chest to hide the scars. But Reggie had already put her hands on them.  
  
Her fingers traced over the old and new scars, being careful not to press down hard on the cuts that were still scabbed over. She looked up into Sam's blue eyes, it was then that Sam realized how much Reggie had changed since they were kids. Her tan skin was smooth and flawless, and her dark brown eyes that held so much depth, it was like she was staring into his soul. 'Damn, when did Reggie get so hot? What did I just say?! She's my friend stop thinking about her like that!' He cursed at himself and hung his head down in shame.  
  
"Sam?" Reggie's voice brought him out of his thoughts as he looked up at her. "Promise me you won't do that to yourself again."  
  
"I promise." Sam said rather shakily  
  
"Are alright? You seem...nervous." she asked. Sam was doing his best not to blush but was failing miserably.  
  
"I'm fine, just a bit thirsty. Do you want a soda or something?" he asked, hoping she would say 'yes' so he could leave and collect himself. Reggie looked at him in confusion.  
  
"Sure." she said getting up to follow Sam upstairs.  
  
"Uh... I'll get them. You stay here, my mom's a light sleeper, feel free to play a CD or whatever." He said hurridly. Reggie nodded and walked over to his CD shelf. Sam rushed upstairs into the kitchen and splashed cold water onto his face in an attempt to get rid of the blush. He also noticed that his palms had become quite sweaty. 'I haven't been affected by a girl like that since puberty' Sam said to himself as he wiped off his hands and face with a dish towel.  
  
Meanwhile, Reggie was searching through Sam's CD's, trying to find one by a band that she recognized. She finally spotted a Blink-182 CD and popped it into his stereo. As the second track started playing, Sam emerged from the door and walked down the stairs.  
  
"Blink, huh? Good choice." he complimented her as she accepted the can of soda.  
  
"Well it was the only CD of your's that was by a band that I actually recognized." She replied while sipping the carbonated beverage.  
  
"No offense Reg, but it wouldn't kill you to listen to some music that isn't mainstreamor on MTV 24/7." He joked. Reggie smirked at him.  
  
"Well than "Shady", if those bands you listen to are so great than why aren't they on T.V. or the top 40 list?" she asked in mock sarcasm. Sam smirked back.  
  
"Because the people who control T.V. and the top 40 list are cynical assholes who despise anything played by guys dressed in black with chains and mowhawks. And they insert sublimal messages into your so-called-music to control how you think and what you buy." He said in in false paranoia. Both teens burst out in laughter.  
  
"You are something else Sam."  
  
"Well, I try." Sam said modestly while running a hand through his hair, obviously joking. Reggie giggled at his antics.  
  
"Never change, Sam. Promise me that." she said, in between giggles.  
  
"Another promise Reg? Come on, I'm not a friggin' saint." he said in an effort to amuse her, but she didn't find anything funny in what he said.  
  
"Sam-" she started, but Sam cut her off.  
  
"I was just joking Reg, calm down."  
  
"Okay, but it wasn't very funny." she pouted. Sam heaved a sigh.  
  
"Sorry, but to answer your promise request, I would never think of changing myself." this caused Reggie to smile. She tried to look him in the eye but was distracted by the silver ring in his lip. Sam noticed her staring.  
  
"What?" he asked  
  
"Just admiring your piercing." she said truthfully. "I always wanted to ask you this, why did you get it?" she inquired  
  
"'Cause I knew my dad would never let me get, but he was out of my life at the time so I figured why not? And besides making me look less like that bastard I think it looks cool. What do you think?"  
  
"It's definetly...unique. But I've always wondered-"  
  
"What? If it hurt getting my lip pierced? Because it didn't really sting, it just felt like someone was pinching my lip-"  
  
"No." she interupted him. "I've always wondered what it would feel like for someone who was trying to-uh..." Reggie began to feel very nervous  
  
"To do what?" Sam asked. Reggie remained silent, staring at Sam. A blush creeping onto her cheeks. "Reggie?" Sam asked, concerned with her odd behavior. Reggie gathered up every ounce of courage in her body and said-  
  
"I've always wondered what it would be like to do this-" Reggie covered Sam's lips with her own. Sam's eyes went wide. He couldn't believe what was happening, he could feel Reggie tense up at his stiffness and began to pull away. He started kissing her back.  
  
Reggie eagerly moved closer to Sam, wrapping her arms around his neck. His lip ring felt odd and cool pressing onto her lips, but she didn't care. She let out years of tension, longing, and secrets as she assaulted his lips.  
  
Sam was shocked by Reggie's agressivness, and surprised himself with his own boldness as he thrusted his tounge between her parted lips. Somehow his hands had found the way to her hips, he pulled her even closer to him as their tounges dueled. Eventually they had to stop to breathe, as they breathed heavily. Reallity hit Reggie like a sack of bricks. She didn't know what to say and neither did Sam. She noticed him staring at her with a shocked expression and a very red face.  
  
"Um...sorry. I should go." she said quickly and bolted up the basement stairs.  
  
"Reg!" Sam called after her. But it was too late she was had already shut the door to his room and was now walking out the front door as quickly and quietly as possible. Sam was utterly confused. 'Should I follow her? Call her to ask what that was about?' he asked himself.  
  
Sam sat on his bed and burried his face in his hands in frustration. 'Why did she do it? Does she like me as more than a friend? Do I like her as more than a friend?' he thought to himself. He decided to sleep on it. Luckilly, tommorrow was Saturday and he could confront her then, away from the prying eyes of their classmates. He turned off the stereo and the lights, and fell into a restless slumber.  
  
A/N: Sorry it took so long to update. I hope this chapter was worth the wait, it's kind of corny though, I never wrote any fluff or romantic scenes before. Anyway, I'm at a loss of how I want to end this: Should I have a happy ending and get this story over with? Or should I add a little bit more agnst and make a sequel? Or should I just kill off Sam in a future chapter and then end the story? Please give me your opinion. And thank you to anyone who has reviewed this story. 


	9. Back to normal?

disclamer:I own nothing.

Chapter 9: Back to Normal?

Breakfast was an awkward event for Reggie that morning as she sat with her father and Otto. Her mind continuously drifted back to the events of last night which caused her to silently curse her stupidity. She glanced over at Otto who seemed to be trying to make a point by refusing to talk to her or even look at her. Reggie heaved a frustrated sigh and broke the silence.

"I talked to Sam last night." Both Otto and Ray jerked their heads up in surprise.

"About time! So is he back on the hockey team?" Otto asked excitedly

"Otto!" Ray said in a disiplining voice. Otto muttered an apology and Ray turned his attention back to Reggie. "So, how'd it go?"

"We're cool now." Reggie said simply, not wanting to get into details.

"Did you talk to him in person or on the phone?"

"I went over to his house and talked to him." she said quietly. Ray opened his mouth to ask another question but was cut off by Otto.

"Awesome! Now that your friends again, we can hang out today. Let's go surfing, I'll call Twist and Sam!" Before Reggie could object, Otto was on the phone dialing Twister's number. Reggie decided it wasn't worth arguing. 'I'll just try to stay with other people. Sam won't want to talk about last night in front of everyone.' she thought to herself and went up to her room to get ready.

Five minutes later she heard pounding fists on her bedroom door. "Hurry up Reg! Sam and Twist are already here." Otto yelled at the door. Reggie follwed him downstairs. At the bottom of the stairs, Sam and Twister were talking to eachother in low voices. When they noticed Reggie, they stopped talking.

"Hey Reg!" Twister greeted enthusiastically. Sam merely smiled awkardly and gave her a small nod. Reggie muttered a barely audible 'hi'. Without wanting to waste another second, Otto raced out the door with surfboard in tow. "Last one to the beach is Shoobie!" he yelled. The others chuckled at his immaturity and followed.

Surprisingy, the awkward silences between Sam and Reggie stopped as soon as they entered the water. If anyone were to look at the four friends, it would seem that all the drama that occured in the past week hadn't happened at all. -  
"So Sam, what happened between you and Reggie last night?" Twister asked as he fiddled with his camera. The boys were in Twister's bedroom editing his latest video. They had parted with Reggie and Otto an hour ago because Ray needed them to work at the Shack. Sam looked up from the TV monitor.

"We talked about what happened and made up." He replied, hoping he wouldn't ask for more details.

"Really? 'Cause you two seemed kind of wierd today. Like, you were avoiding talking or even looking at eachother. Did something else happen?" Twist pressed on. Sam cursed his curiosity and observations.'Damn, this guy has grown brains since we were kids!' he thought to himself. Not wanting to make up any more lies Sam decided to just tell him.

"She kissed me." he said simply. Twister looked up at him with an amused expression on his face.

"Oh. That explains a lot. Why'd she do it?"

"I don't know. We were joking around then she became all serious and asked me about my lip ring and just-kissed me." Sam said, embarrased.

"Did you kiss her back?" Twister asked with increasing curiousity

"Yeah." Sam replied trying to avoid his gaze.

"Well..?"

"Well what?"

"Did you...enjoy it?" Twister asked. Sam felt heat rising in his cheeks and gave a shrug. "Sam, it's okay. You can tell me how you feel about it, I won't tell anybody." He said reassuringly.

"It's wierd really, a couple minutes before she kissed me I suddenly saw her in a whole new light, like I had a crush on her or something." Sam admitted. Twister chuckled.

"Twist, I'm being serious here! This isn't something I just made up!" Sam snapped.

"It's not that Sam, its just well...kind of funny." He said, still laughing. Sam gave him a confused/annoyed look. Twister sighed.

"It's like this- Reggie has been crushing on you for a long time now, and you suddenly realize that she could be much more than a friend." He explained.

"Reggie has a crush an me?!" Sam asked, disbelievingly. "How long?"

"A couple years at least. Don't feel bad though, I'm just one of the few people who noticed. Reggie hides it very well actually." Twister explained.

"Who else knows about this?" Sam asked

"I'm pretty sure that Trish and Sherry do." Sam felt a bit overwhelmed.

"What do I do now?" Sam asked

"Well do you 'like' Reggie?" Sam nodded. "Then go talk to her about everything, tell her how you feel, she'll be stoked!" Twister advised. Sam started rushing to the door.

"Thanks for everything Twist! Ya know, you're a lot smarter than you look." Sam yelled

"Good luck Shady!" Twister yelled back.  
-  
"Hey Rocket girl, Could you take the trash out please?" Ray yelled to Reggie as he served some customers.  
Reggie groaned and pulled the heavy trash bag over her shoulder and walked out back to where Ray kept the trashcans. Just as she was about to stuff the bag in the can she heard a voice. "Reggie?"

Reggie spun around and immediatelly blushed when she saw Sam, thankful that the increasing darkness outside would hide it from him. "Hi Sam." Reggie said nervously.

"I thought we should talk about last night." he confessed.

"Oh yeah... well, I owe you an explanation" Sam opened his mouth to say something but Reggie said in a rushed voice-"Sam I'm sorry for kissing you, can we forget it ever happened?" Reggie swore at herself inside her thoughts-the perfect chance to tell Sam how she felt and she blows him off.

"Oh." Sam replied with an unreadible expression on his face.

"I just got caught up in the moment and forgot that we were...just friends" 'Stupid, stupid, stupid!'she scolded herself.

"No, it's okay." Sam said trying not to sound disappointed. "Well, I'll...see ya tommorrow, I guess."

"Yeah, see ya." Reggie said softly to Sam's retreating back. Tears were threatening to pour out of her eyes, again.  
-  
'Can we forget it ever happened?' Reggie's voice echoed inside Sam's head. The teen walked home in confusion, but it quickly turned into anger. "Twister is so full of shit!" he growled angrily as he stormed into his empty house.

"Didn't it mean anything to her? She was the one who wanted it!" He said to himself as he kicked the living room sofa in fury. "Ouch! Dammit!!" That sofa was a lot harder than it looked. Sam limped into his room and threw himself on his bed.

"I'm such a fuckin' idiot. Why wouldn't Reggie want me after last night? Who am I kidding? She could have anyone she wants. Why would she waste her time on me?" he asked himself as tears flowed out of his eyes. "All I wanna do is fuckin' die."

He trashed his room while looking for his knife. Then he remembered that it had been taken away from him in case he decided to cut again. Sam cursed his stupidity and ran upstairs to the kitchen. He opened a drawyer and took out a small but sharp paring knife and went back downstairs to his room.  
-  
Reggie sat in the kitchen of the Shack crying her eyes out. 'You had the perfect chance to tell Sam how you felt and you blew it! What the hell is wrong with you? You've liked him for ages and you chicken out!' she thought to herself. Her thoughts were soon interupted by a concerned voice.

"Reggie? What's wrong little cuz?" Tito asked. Reggie quickly wiped her eyes and replied-

"Nothing, Tito. It's just those onions I've been chopping up. They always make me teary." Tito gave her an unconvinced look.

"That has got to be the lamest lie I've ever heard. What's really bothering you"

"Tito, have you ever developed more than freindly feelings for a friend?"

"Yes, I guess have, many years ago." he replied

"Well, I've known this guy for a really long time and we're really close friends. But, a little while ago I started having this crush on him..." Reggie said hesitanly

"Yes, go on." Tito urged

"Long story short, I kissed him."

"Oh." Tito said, surprised. "And how did he react?"

"Okay, I guess-I mean, he didn't pull away. In fact he actually started to kiss me back." Reggie reflected back to the last night, and a dreamy smile formed on her face. "He's a really good kisser..."

"Ugh, no details please!" Tito said, starting to get rather uncomfortable.

"Oh, sorry Tito. Anyway, I made the biggest mistake of my life; I asked him if we could just forget it ever happened." Reggie started to sob again. Tito put a comforting arm around her.

"You know what you have to do don't you?" Tito asked

"What?"

"You have to find this boy and tell him how you truly feel."

"But, what if he doesn't feel the same way? It could ruin our friendship." she questioned

"So what, at least you'll have honest. One shouldn't walk around with such heavy secrets on their backs, Reggie. Besides, I wouldn't worry about your friendship being ruined, Sam's always been an understanding person."

"What? How did you know it was Sam?" Reggie asked, stunned.

"Oh come on Reg! It's obvious that you're crushing on him. In fact, I'm surprised that he hasn't already figured it out." Tito replied.

"Am I really that obvious?" Reggie asked nervously. Tito laughed.

"Get out of here! Go find Sam. I can finish up around here for you."

Reggie shouted a thanks as she rushed out the back door and towards Sam's house.  
-  
Flashes of bad memories and nightmares danced through Sam's head: Starting the first grade with a black eye...his father's screaming face...the many bandaids that decorated his body...his mother's tears...Otto's taunts...beefing it on his skateboard...Reggie's voice...Reggie's lips. He was so caught up in cursing at his painful memeories that he did not even notice the blood running down his arm, or the tapping at the window.

"Sammy!!" a frantic voice called out. Sam turned around to see the tear-stained face of Reggie Rocket in his window. Sam quickly threw down the knife and raced to the window, trying to hide the open wound. He opened the window and Reggie slid down.

"Sam, we gotta talk." Reggie said a bit breathlessly. Sam crossed his arms over his chest to hide the bleeding, thankful that she had not seen his cut and that he had chosen to wear a black shirt that day.

"We already talked." Sam said in a harsh voice, for some reason he felt really pissed off at her at the moment.

"No Sam, we didn't." Reggie said, not at all taken back by Sam's tone. "I lied to you when I said that kiss meant nothing. That kiss meant everything to me. I have had feelings for you for so long." She admitted. Sam's mouth dropped in shock. "I'm not asking you to return my feelings, I just thought you should know, I can't keep lying to you, I just can't."

"Reg, stop feeding me this bullshit." Sam said softly.

"What?" Reggie asked, confused.

"How do I know that you really like me as more than a friend, huh? One minute I think you want me and the next you're totally avoiding me! Make up your mind already! In fact I'll help you. You don't have romantic feelings for me!" Reggie opened her mouth to say something but Sam kept talking."You only think you do because I almost died! It's sympathy Reg! That's all it is!"

"For your information Sam Dullard, I have felt this way about you since we were kids!" Reggie defended.

"What?" Sam asked, stunned.

"I've have liked you before you became "Shady", before you turned into a great skater, before you joined the cross coutry team, and before you turned goth!" she snapped. Sam looked stunned.

"I'm sorry I've ever judged you, Reggie." Sam apologized. "However, I prefer to be labeled as a "unique-individual-with-a-fondness-for-black-clothes" rather than "goth"." he joked. Reggie let a small chuckle escape her lips. "And I gotta admit, I lied to you to about the kiss too. I really liked it."

"Really?" she asked.

"Reg, you are the most amazing girl I've ever met. And I could kick myself for not realizing that until now." Sam admitted, feeling extremely sappy. "Damn, that sounded really corny." Reggie laughed.

"Yeah, we do kinda sound like a soap opera don't we?" she giggled. Sam uncrossed his arms and immediatly regretted it.

"Sam!" Reggie gasped, staring at his bloody wrist. Instead of bursting into tears like he expected her to, Reggie's face softended as she took hold of his wounded arm and gently placed a tissue on top of the cut. She remained silent as she soaked up the blood with the tissue.

"Ya' know Sam, you can't keep dealing with your problems like this. You need to talk to somebody." Reggie said, breaking the silence.

"You're right." Sam sighed. "I need help, Reg." he admitted.

"I can help." Reggie said softly, bringing her face closer to Sam's. Their lips met for the second time in their lives, more gently than the first.

"I know you can help me Reg, but that might not be enough." Sam said after their lips seperated.

"What?"

"The doctors suggested that I go to a pyschiatric hospital for teens dealing with the same stuff as me. I didn't think it would be necessary but after my little relapse ten minutes ago, I think it would be what's best for me." Sam admitted.

"That's very brave of you. Denial is the hardest obstacle to overcome." Reggie placed a kiss on Sam's cheek.

"Admitting it is the first step." Sam joked.

"What about us, Sam?" Reggie asked. Sam looked around his room until his eyes feel upon his trusty hockey stick. He picked it up and gave it to Reggie. Reggie looked at it with confusion.

"What's this for?" she asked.

"It's for beating off all those guys who are gonna try to ask you out! You tell them you're taken!" Sam explained. Reggie burst out laughing.

"Seriously though, this place lets family and friends visit on the weekends. It's only a half hour away."

"I'm gonna miss you." Reggie said sadly.

"I'm not gone yet" Sam said, brushing his lips against hers.  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Sorry for not posting for 4 months. I've just been really busy with school. I hope this chapter makes up for the wait, despite it's fluffiness. Thank you to everyone who reviewed this story! And Happy Holidays!  
anyesfire: sorry, I have really bad grammar skills.

Otto & Reggie's Mom: What the hell!!?

Next chapter: Sam arrives at his "new home". 


	10. Sam's New Home

disclamer:I own nothing

Chapter 10: Sam's New Home

Sam POV:

It's been an two weeks since I've left home and came here; "Simmons' Pyschiatric Home for Young Adults". After talking with the other patients here, I could immediately see that I was different from everybody else. Not because of my clothes, because most of the guys here dress just like me. Or because my depression problem, most everybody here has one. It was because I chose to go here. Everybody else was forced to come here. But I never told anyone that, I don't want to be more of a freak then I already am.

I've also noticed that they run things rather loosely here. Patients are not forced to stay in their rooms all day. There are no padded rooms with straight jackets. There is a room here called the "Lounge Room", its open to patients all day as long as they don't have a schedueled group talk or one-on-one session with the doctor. There's a T.V., there's non-violent video games, and there's several computers with internet so we can e-mail our families.

There are some rules though. Boys and girls are seperated, for everything. I've never even seen girls walking around or in the cafeteria. My roomate told me that there are two seperate entrances to the building, a boy's entrance and a girls entrance. The girls are on the other side of the building, and we're seperated from them so that we won't get any...ideas.

Life here isn't so bad, I've met a few cool guys who've had even shittier childhoods than me. The only thing bad about this place is being seperated from Reggie. It's been two weeks since I've seen her or even heard her voice. Everybody here is only allowed to call their immediate family, no chatting on the phone with friends. Thank god for e-mail or else I'd go crazy from seperation anxiety.  
-  
Flashback (Regular POV)

Sam opened his dresser drawyer and pulled out a stack of t-shirts, mostly black, and hastily stuffed them in the duffle bag on his bed. Reggie watched him from his desk.

"What's the rush Sammy? You're not leaving for two days." Reggie pointed out. Sam looked up at her and smiled.

"The sooner I get this shit out of the way, the sooner I can spend time with you." he explained.

"That's sweet of you, but I'm afraid I can't do much. My teachers have drowned me in homework this week. Not to mention, that big history test is coming up and I have to do some major cramming."

"Why didn't you say so? I could help you study." Sam said, an evil grin forming on his face. Reggie laughed lightly and gave him a knowing look.

"I'm serious Sam." Sam gave a mock look of disappointment and went back to stuffing clothes in his bag.

"How long will you be away?" Reggie asked. Sam stopped in his tracks and looked up at her.

"Honestly, I don't know. It could be anywhere from two weeks to six months." he said quietly.

"Oh" Reggie said softly as tears started to form in her eyes.

"Don't you start crying again. Honestly woman, haven't you've done enough of that for the past couple weeks? I figured your water works supply would be dry by now." Sam said jokingly. Reggie let out a half-sob, half-laugh.

"I'm just going to miss you that's all." Reggie explained while wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I know, I know. People become attatched to me because of my charm and good looks. You're not the first person to become mesmorized by my witty knowledge and handsome features." Sam said in mock smuggness, puffing out his chest.

Reggie went into a fit of giggles and threw a pillow at him. "You are so weird!" she said. Sam grinned at her.

"Don't lie Reg, you know you love it!" he grinned.

"I never said I didn't." Reggie said as she got of the bed and embraced him. "What am I gonna do without you Sam?"

"Wait patiently I guess, patience is a virtue." Sam said while rubbing her back. Reggie looked up at him and kissed him softly on the lips. Sam suddenly drew back a couple seconds later.

"What's wrong?" Reggie asked with concern.

"I was just wondering, you still have my hockey stick right? To beat the guys off with?" Sam asked

Reggie nodded with a smile and brought Sam's face back to hers.

(End Flashback)  
-  
(Sam POV)

I sat on the white sheeted twin bed with my sketchbook in my lap. I was doodling while my mind drifted to other things. I was so dazed that I didn't even here my roomate talking to me.

"Dude, Sam! Are you even listening to me?" the voice brought me out of my own little world and I looked up to meet a pale face with light blue eyes and heavy black eyeshadow.

"Sorry Dave, I was in my own little world." I explained

"Obviously! I don't know how you can concentrate like that. Are taking any...medication? Because if you are, I could really use a pick-me-up." Dave begged. He was here because of a drug problem he had, the court gave him the option of jail or "Simmons' Pyschiatric Home for Young Adults". He said he chose "Simmons'" because they used guys like him as currency in prisons. Dave looked like the poster child for goth people- tight black shirts, black fingernails, bondage pants(although the straps had to be removed in case he ever got a "little depressed") and even black make-up on his lips and eyes.

"I'm not on anything Dave. I was just thinking about shit."

"Oh." he said, sounding a little disappointed.

"So, what were you saying while I wasn't aware you were even in the room?" I asked

"Oh yeah! I was just sent to tell you that Dr.Shetler wants to see you in his office now."

"What I'd do?" I asked in false panic.

"The doc just felt like having a random chat. He does this all the time, you'll get used to it." Dave explained. He had been here for five months.

"Alright." I said getting up. "See ya."

"Yeah see ya'." he said looking down at my sketchbook. "Wait, who's that?" he asked pointing down to the sketchbook. I looked down to see the penciled face of my father staring back at me. He wore the same expression he had always worn when he was drunk. I didn't even realize I was drawing him. A surge of anger sped through my body.

"Nobody." I spat, and tore the drawing from the book, balled it up and threw it in the trash basket. I stomped out of the room, leaving a very confused Dave.

I walked down the deserted hallway towards Dr.Shetler's office. "The Doc" as everyone called him was a middle-aged man who had worked at "Simmon's Pyschiatric Home for Young Adults" forever. He was well known for his calmness when working with angry teenagers; a kid could be screaming their lungs out at him and tearing apart his office, while he simply nodded and jotted notes on his notepad. I guess that's why he's been here for so long.

"Hello Sam." Dr.Shetler greeted as I walked into his office.

"Hello." I replied as I sat in the chair in front of his desk.

"I suppose you're wondering why I called you here today?" he asked.

"Yeah, my roommate told me you randomly call guys into your office to talk"

"Your roommate would be correct. However, the reason I called you here is because... well frankly, I'm concerned." he explained

"Concerned about what?" I asked. "The Doc" sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"About you, Sam." he said.

"What about me?" I asked.'Had I done something wrong? Did he discover that I had a mental disease? Worried thoughts raced through my head.

"Sam, you've been here for two weeks now, and you have made more progress with your problems than other patients do in a month! You're coopertive, you answer my questions rather than stare at the floor like most newbees do. You've shared your true feelings during group and one on one sessions. It's like you actually want to be here!" he said with an amazed look on his face.

"Well...I do want to be here." I explained. He gave me an odd look.

"That's very rare, Sam. Most patients need to be dragged in by the hair; very few teens speak up when they need help. Why do you want to be here Sam?" He asked. I sighed.

"I'm not like most of the other guys here, after talking with them, I realized that they're from uh ...different backgrounds than me."

"What do you mean 'different backgrounds'?" he asked. He was starting to get on my nerves.

"They either grew up in single parent homes or had parents who hated eachother yet still lived together-" he cut me off- "According to your file Sam, your parnets are divorced and you spent your adolescent years with your mother." he said, giving me a confused look.

"The guys who've talked to lived in crappy neighborhoods infested with crime and drugs. I've lived in suburban neighborhoods my whole life. They skipped school on a regular basis, I've hardly missed a day in my life!" The Doc raised his eyebrows. "Look, I'm not saying that I'm better than the other patients here, I'm not saying that I'm smarter than them in any way- all I'm saying is that..."

What was I trying to say?

"What are you trying to say, Sam?" he asked gravely.

"I'm...just..different, okay?" I said, collecting my thoughts.

"I see what your saying." he smiled.

"You do?" I asked.

"But, all the stuff you just said, didn't really answrer my question. Why do you want to be here?"

"Because I want to fix my problems. Not just for me, but for my mom and my friends."

"And what are these problems of yours Sam?" he asked. What was this twenty questions?

"I'm a cutter"

"Why are you a cutter?"

"I...guess it's easier for me to carve up my arm than it is to tell someone that I'm angry or sad or depressed. Because I think that if I do tell someone those things, than they'll overeact and think that I'm gonna blow my brains out with a gun or something, ya' know. Or they'll think I'm weak and make fun of me."

"What's so bad about being made fun of?"

"I've been made fun of my whole life."

"Why?"

"People made fun of me as a kid because I was scared all the time, I wasn't very athletic, and because I was a first class nerd. People make fun of me now because I'm different, the clothes I wear, the way I act. And I'm still a nerd." The Doc let out a chuckle at the last part of my confession.

"Well Sam I think we just found out what your problem is."

"Um..Doc? I already knew what my problem was-I'm a cut-"

"No, not that! For a someone who's in the top ten of their class, you sure are clueless. Your problem isn't that you cut yourself, your problem is that you don't speak up about your problems-which causes you to cut yourself." He explained.

"You can't hold in all your anger and sadness, you've got to let it out. I'm not saying- beat up the people who piss you off, because that will just cause more problems. What you need to do Sam is tell somebody when you've had a bad day. Tell somebody when you feel like shit. Tell somebody when your sad. And never be afriad to cry." he said. "Girls love guys with sensitivity" he added with a grin.

"Wow, so not only will I solve my problems but I'll get laid too!" I asked in mock astonishment. We both shared a good laugh.  
-  
My talk with the "Doc" left me feeling hopeful to work out my problems and eager get out of this place. It also left me very lonely too. I returned to my room to an anxiously waiting Dave.

"So?" he asked.

"It went well." I said with a smile.

"What do you mean it went well?" he asked

"I'm making good progress. In fact, I might be able to get sooner than expected." I explained. Dave gave me a blank stare.

"Really... that's what he said?" he asked, eyeing me suspicously.

"Uh..yeah, pretty much." Dave was starting to freak me out.

"Cause, he's never said anything like that to me." Dave explined.

"Maybe you just aren't trying hard enough." I suggested and instantly regretting it. Dave glared at me.

"What exactly are you saying, Sam? That I'm a hopeless case?" he asked venomously.

"No man, it's just-"

"I guess it must just be the dope, right. The shit must have totally fried my brain! I'm surprised they haven't declared me legally retarted yet! Why don't you go to your friend the "doc" and ask him to do that for me?" Dave ranted on sarcastically.

"Dave I didn't mean it like that!" Dave just put his hand up motioning me to shut my trap. He stomped out of the room muttering under his breath-"..stupid narc...fucker." I could faintly hear his heavy combat boots stomping down the hallway. I had no idea what just happened, but I knew that I would have some trouble making new friends with the other patients once Dave told everybody about my talk with the Doc.

In a few hours, it was time for dinner. As I entered the cafeteria, I was greeted with a hushed silence as the other guys eyed me, pointed at me and whispered to person next to them. I tried to act like I didn't care and got into the food line. The people who were waitng in line next to me took a few steps away from me, like I was carrying some type of disease.

I took a seat at a deserted table in the corner of the room and tried to ignore whispers around me. But it was impossible. I finished my dinner as fast as I could, not caring if I was being too obvious. I nearly scalded my tounge on the soup but I didn't care. I wanted to get the hell out.

I stood up and walked over to tray-return window, my eyes on the floor, I could feel their eyes following me. I set my tray down and made a beeline for the exit, I should have payed more attention to my feet, because the next thing I knew I was on floor. Some asshole had tripped me, laughter rain throughout the cafeteria. I got up and looked at the one responsible- a beefy-looking jock whom I heard was here for taking steriods...big surprise.

He was laughing his most of all. Dave was sitting a few seats down from him, smirking at me. I wanted to punch the jock right in his stupid face. My fist was curled up, knuckles turning white-but I knew that if I did hit him, I would be kept here longer. But I still couldn't just walk away.

So I spat right in his face. And ran for it.

The jock yelled out in disgust causing everybody else to laugh harder. As I made my way down the hall I could hear the cafeteria monitors trying to restrain him and calling for more help. I passed a couple of security officers running the direction of the cafeteria.

I finally made it back to my room. I closed the door and laughed despite my embarassment and loneliness.  
-  
"Dullard!" a deep voice called out. I looked up from my book to see Steve, one of the "Helpers", standing on the doorway. I instantly regretted spitting on that jock's face.

"Yeah?" I answered nervously.

"It's your turn to make a phonecall." he explained. I let out a sigh of relief and followed him out the door. Every couple of days you could call home to check in with your family.

"Saw what you did at dinner tonight." Steve said casually. "Pretty funny, man. I never did like that meathead wrestler."

"Uh..thanks" He must have sensed my confusion because he said

"Don't worry about getting into trouble. All us dinner monitors agreed not to tell Dr.Shetler."

"Thanks Steve." I said gratefully. We entered a small, white room with two chairs and a phone on a small desk.

"You got ten minutes" Steve reminded me, instead of sitting down at the table with me, he walked out the door leaving me by myself. Since no one was there to watch me,I decided to bend the rules a little bit and call Reggie.

I picked up the phone and dialed Reggie's number. The phone rang five times, I was beginning to think that no one was home, but then I heard a familar voice answer-

"Hello?"

"Hey Reg, ya miss me?" I greeted her.

"Sammy! It's been so long since I last heard from you!" She exclaimed.

"I e-mailed you yesterday." I reminded her.

"I know Sam, it's just that the day seems a lot longer and boring without you." she explained sadly. "So what's up?" she asked. I told her about my talk with "The Doc" and the events at this evning's dinner.

"Wow, sounds like you had a rough day." Reggie said.

"Yeah, but the whole thing has just motivated me to try harder at fixing the things that are wrong with me, and going home."

"If you ask me Sam, there is nothing bad or wrong about you. But I do want you come home soon." Her words touched me. But our sentimental moment was about to be interupted.

"One minute left Dullard!" Steve reminded me as he walked back into the room.

"I guess you got to go then, huh?" Reg asked while giggling softly.

"Unfortunatley, yeah." I said sadly. "I miss you, Reg." I added.

"I miss you too Sam." She replied softly. "So get your ass back home soon, okay?" she added in a mock angry voice.

"I will. Good night, Reg."

" 'Night Sammy." I hung up the phone and walked back to my room. Luckily Dave still wasn't there. I got changed and went to bed.  
-  
A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, I've just been really busy with school, SATs, track, ect. Big Thanks goes out to all my reviewers-if it wasn't for you guys, I probably would have given up on this story.

Next Chapter: You'll see. (Evil laughter) 


	11. The Return

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter 11: The Return

Reggie heaved a sigh as the ringing bell signaled the end of the day. She picked up her bag and slowly made her way to the front exit of the school. Over the past few weeks, the rumors about her and Sam had died down, much to her benefit. Although she sometimes spotted people whispering and pointing at her, but she did her best to ignore them.

It had been a week since she had talked to Sam on the phone, and she hadn't heard from him since.Every time she checked her e-mail, she had become more anxious about the return of her boyfriend. Reggie had been planning to go straight home and check for messages from Sam when a voice called out her name.

"Reggie!" Reg spun around to see Sherry flagging her down.

"What's up?" Reggie asked.

"Are you alright, you seem really depressed?" the blonde girl asked with concern.

"I'm fine, it's just-"

"Sam?" Sherry finished her sentence for her. Reggie just nodded.

"Well I know something that will cheer you up, girlfriend! Let's go to the beach!" she exclaimed

"Sorry Sher, I don't really feel like checking out the lifegaurds right now." Reggie said, with an edge in her voice.

"Not that, Reg!" Sherry explained "I'm talking about Surfing!"

"I don't know..." Reg started

"Reg, trust me. This will make you feel better." Sherry said in an unusually serious tone.

"Okay." Reggie gave in. The two girls made their way to 'The Shack' where Ray always kept a couple of spare surfboards. They changed into their swimsiuts and made their way to the beach.  
-  
"Oh Sammy! I'm so glad you're home!" Paula shrieked as her teenage son stepped out of the van that read - "Simmons' Pyschiatric Home for Young Adults" on the side. The blonde woman pulled Sam into a tight hug and continued to ramble on about her joy.

"Mom!" Sam protested. Of course he had missed his mother but he still felt embarassed by her enthusiastic greeting.

"Thank god you're back! She wouldn't shut up about you!" a slim man said as he smiled at Sam being hugged by his mother.

"Tom!" Paula scolded, while finally letting go of her son.

"Nice to see you too, Tom." Sam said in mock sarcasm. Tom pulled Sam into a one-armed hug and ruffled his hair.

"So what are you gonna do now?" Tom asked. Sam thought for a moment and was about to answer when he heard a voice call out-

"Shady!" Sam turned around to see Otto and Twister running towards him with huge smiles on their faces. Their expressions reminded Sam of a couple of kids on christmas morning, and he laughed as they tackled him to the ground.

"Missed me, did you?" Sam asked as he rose to his feet.

"Well... sort of." Twister said

"Dude, I am so glad you're back. Reg has been walking around like a zombie the past few weeks." Otto said.

"Where is she anyway?" Sam asked, rather anxiously.

"She went surfing with Sherry. She should be back in a couple of hours." Twister said while checking his watch . Sam spun around and dashed to his house.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Otto shouted. Sam turned around and yelled-

"I haven't seen her in nerely a month! Do you really think I can hold out for two more hours?" He turned around and went into his house.

Sam had ran top speed to the beach, with his surfboard under his arm and Otto and Twister panting to keep up. A few teens recognized him as he passed by and exchanged whispers. Sam ignored them.

"Sammy...could you..slow..down..a bit..please?" Twister pleaded in between breaths.

"I don't think he runs this fast in races." Otto added.

"Hey, would you two pick up the pace and shut up. God! My fat-ass father can run faster than you two, and he's dead!" Sam said sternly. Otto and Twister muttered their apologies.

After what seemed like forever to Sam, they finally made it to the beach. It didn't take him very long until he spotted a pretty girl with purple hair. Sam grinned like a maniac as he ran into the ocean and paddled out. He hadn't bothered to notice that Otto and Twister had yet to enter the water as they were both nearly passed out on the beach.

Reggie let out a sigh as she watched Sherry paddle out to catch the next swell, she had decided to sit this one out. The surf session had done little to help Reggie raise her spirits. As much as she tried to keep her mind on surfing, her thoughts always drifted back to Sam. Because of this she had wiped out several times.

Feeling frustrated with herself, Reggie decided to go home. She turned her board around and came face to face with a flushed, sandy-haired boy with glasses who was smiling like christmas had come early. Reggie let out a shriek.

"Sammy!" she flung herself at Sam and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"Missed me?" Sam asked cheekily. Reggie pulled back to look him in the eye.

"You have no idea." she said huskily and firmly covered Sam's lips with her own. Reggie's hands pulled at his hair as he wrapped his arms around her waist. They kissed until an oxygen break was needed and somewhat reluctantly broke apart.

"Let's get out of here." Sam said, breathingly heavily. A mischivous glint was in his eye, it didn' take a genius to know what was on his mind. Reggie smirked at him and the two began to eagerly paddle back to shore, ignoring Sherry's yells.

When they reached shore, Sam and Reggie picked up their boards and towels and sprinted towards the exit, past a confused looking Otto and Twister.

"Where are you guys going?" Otto yelled.

"Oh, we're just going back to my house to 'catch-up' bit." Sam said.

"Cool, wait up." Otto yelled.

"You guys aren't invited, Otto." Reggie said, annoyed at her brother's obliviosness.

"Why not" Otto asked, somewhat angrily.

"Otto!" Twister sighed, "And I thought I was the dumb one." Otto only looked at him with more confusion.

"I don't think you want to hear the details of our plans." Sam explained. Otto's faced creased in thought for a few seconds until it finally clicked into place.

"Oh gross! Dude, that's my sister!" Otto yelled, out raged at Sam.

"I know, ain't she hot?" Sam asked jokingly.

Otto began to make fake retching sounds as Twister collapsed with laughter. Sam and Reg continued to run home.

"How you feelin'" Reggie asked. She and Sam were stretched out on his bed, still in their bathing suits, both with swollen lips and messy hair.

"Better than I have been in a while." Sam answered as he wrapped his arms around Reggie more tightly. Reggied comfortably, and leaned into him. She looked at his scarred wrists and ran her fingers over them.

"What about the scars?" she asked

"Physical or emotional?" Sam asked. Reggie thought it over for a moment.

"Both." she replied. Sam merely shrugged.

"Don't worry about them. It's all in the past now." he said as he bent his head closer to her. Reggie moved her own face closer and captured his lips again. As they kissed, Sam forgot about all the drama that happened over the past month. He didn't think about the demons of his childhood. All that mattered now was that he was with Reggie. His best friend, his girlfriend, his source of stregnth.

And for the first time in years, Sam Dullard was truly happy.

Fin   
A/N: Here you have it, an update and a conclusion. I knew some of you were getting impatient with me, so now you can stop complaining. Unless, you want to yell at me because you think the ending sucks.

A big thanks goes out to all my reviewers! If it weren't for you guys I would have ditched this fic long ago. You guys rock! 


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